King George is the King of the Kingdom of the Sun, at least, he is after "Before the Groovy Stories." He's pretty much the only one in the whole book with any sense of responsibility.

Queen Itsy is George's wife. She's short, loud, and a control freak. That's pretty much it.

Polly is technically the main character. She was a student in the Kingdom of the Sun and now just hangs out in the Castle with her husband, Paul. Oh. And she's dead.

Paul is a bard, originally from the Queendom of the Moon, who now lives in the Castle with everyone else. He's married to Polly, is dead, and generally confused. He has a group of followers who are in love with him, but most of the main characters hate him a lot.

Jack the SPAM Knight was also a student in the Kingdom. He was Knighted, sort of, and is also a mad scientiest with a time travelling couch and a tendancy to mumble about stupid paradoxes to himself. No one listens to Jack, though they probably should.

Jessie is depressed. She's the court jester, though she really wishes she could be a talking horse. And sometimes she's a vampire.