Sunday, July 28, 2002

...and the overhaul continues. Also, if y'all could check out the prologue to seven's story, and tell me what you think, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Becky had too much free time at 4:34 PM

Villains.

Mercy looks terrible, like... Really terrible. Daevan is ok, and Kain is actually exactly how I picture him. Sure, his arms are, y'know, barely present (if I was going to clean this up, which I'm not, I'd have to fix that) but he looks right. He's supposed to be tall and lithe, and has a very thin, bony face, so I'm happy. (too bad you can't see his ridiculous pontyail.) The eyes would be vaguely representative of The Man, that is, Kyrvan Bladedancer, Daevan's father, and the Ultimate Villain (evil laughter optional.) I hope never to have to draw him.

Only one of the three people survives the story. Mwahah~
Becky had too much free time at 2:51 PM

Frightening search queries for the day! ... Yes, I should stop posting them, it's just going to bring more of them to my site. But they amuse me, in a "what the fuck are these people doing here?" sort of way.

1: captured stripped tied scream : I have no idea, unless this is the beginning of Saga season2
1: love hurts -scars -nazareth : no clue for this either, but it's less frightening
1: wrists were still tied -sex -cunt -tits : I can't decide if someone was looking for, like, a non-sexual bondage story, if such a thing exists, or just likes those words, or what. Ah, well...

Also, someone was searching for Ocando; if that person was looking for my actual site, that's a wierd thing to remember, isn't it?

Also, I've gotten a bunch of hits the last few days from Rank Elemental. See, it pays to answer your email and be nice to people. (She had emailed me with questions, y'see, and we ended up talking. I feel cool now. Go me.)

Riiiight. Naptime.
Becky had too much free time at 2:08 PM

Saturday, July 27, 2002

I dunno, I still feel really uninspired, and I'm not going to get to write at all until tomorrow night (as I'll be camping. joy) and I don't have my groove or whatever back yet, but I'm getting closer.

I just don't know why I lost it to begin with.
Becky had too much free time at 10:20 AM

Friday, July 26, 2002

Example: "slave boy torture chamber"
Now, see, Kalin is a slave boy who gets beat up a lot; I can see where that would bring up the Saga. But... That's not what it's about, really, it's just... See... Wierd.

Also, "veronica's back door" isn't a reference to what I hope it isn't a reference to... Is it? Oh dear.
Becky had too much free time at 11:25 PM

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

All of season one was only 99 pages together. And man, was I irked that I didn't get one more page...
Becky had too much free time at 2:54 AM

Monday, July 22, 2002

Saturday, July 20, 2002

Either way, that was way too heavy use of the exclamation point.

Also, I rearchived the art a few days ago.
Becky had too much free time at 2:58 AM

Cordyn's card, colored like the Aran and Juriah ones many months ago. The font is different, much to my annoyance, but I like it. It's a bit... Funky. I like the way the skin turned out and I like the shirt (if you can call it that) better than the pants.

Cordyn is actually a pretty cool character. I'm probably going to start rewriting, just to see if it picks up some, and I'll want to bring her in much sooner, I think. But maybe not. Because I don't think it would make sense.
Becky had too much free time at 2:54 AM

Thursday, July 18, 2002

It's odd, I've been working on Seven's Story a lot (well, sort of) lately, but I've done a full 180 turn on it. I like Juriah a lot, and Aran not so much. As it turns out, he has a lot more depth than she does, and is just generally cooler. But I think that if I ever go back and rewrite this so it makes sense (ahahahahahaha, yeah, right) I'd put in a LOT more early character development of both of them.

Also, I'm not sure who ends up with who anymore. Juriah was supposed to end up with Cordyn, after getting over a secret crush on Aran. And now I'm thinking that she has a thing for him and he... I have no idea.

Grrrr. Help. Anyone want to read this thing? Let me know.
Becky had too much free time at 5:34 PM

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

Actually, only one of these is a poem, the other is more... experimental prose, minus punctuation.

KJE

I wrote the words
I did
they were here but you didn't hear
I cared I just never dared to fill the silence
with words
my words for you

I wrote for you, I did
For you I wrote the moon and sun
and laughter
and two bodies together
but I never said the words
and when I showed you
you never read them and made them real
they were always here but you didn't hear

I wrote for you for you for you
I never wrote for anyone else
never before
you were my words, my inspiration
you were my thoughts
everything I felt was you
you you you you you

I never wrote for anyone else
but you never read what I wrote
and my words
my beautiful words
fell on deaf ears

so I dressed it up
and wrote it again
and again
and again
but still it stayed silent
in my mind and notebook
and when it came out
pouring rushing tumbling out to you
you never heard

so now I write again and I try again
for you
for your deaf memory
and words echo in silence
and you still don't hear
but now I understand
you can't
you're gone
and my words for you are only for me

...This is, of course, an obscure reference to the fact that Karl never, ever, ever had any interest in the fact that I loved to write. Also that we had severe communication problems... But he once commented (after noticing I was totally tuning out everything around me) that I was always lost in my own world. No fucking kidding.

One thing I can say for Dave is that he at least cared or pretended to, and actually asked me to explain the Saga to him. Which took a lot of effort, but it astounded me that he cared.

Anyway. The other thing.

reflections

mindless scribbles loop into letters and words that were never mine smiles unsaid love in a touch not much but enough then quiet calm deadly silent psychokiller sits between us what can i say? so i say nothing and you say nothing and nothing is too much too far gone to bring back after six months of hell never went away even after it left us sitting

smooching on the couch comfy quiet new together just a second lip to lip quick first shy kiss sleeping on the floor huddled under mom's good quilt while a movie plays that we don't even watch fingertips brush shoulders or my cheek gentle and calm and quiet

flowers in a coke bottle, left on the porch i love you calm and quiet an accidental ring and a card that means more and the butterfly bracelet i broke but never told you because you are my calm and quiet

then screams and shrieks in silence and it isn't fair and you don't understand so leave me alone! scared to let you go but GO marvin k mooney NOW wait i didn't mean and you didn't either so i'm ok you're ok we're ok for now and silence sinks to calm and quiet but lurks in the shadows of the fight

look i'm a princess and you're my prince calm and quiet even if you can't dance and this is for you because everyone should have a stuffed animal

the silence stalks through the playground not so innocent as it was when we were swinging yesterday and i don't know what to say but i cry and you leave and wait for me to call but i can't and the silence scares me until i scream but it's lost in the silence

under the bridge quiet and calm and wearing that blue thing just for you and the mud and weeds wrap around us but who can care when we share the calm and quiet keeps us safe in a cocoon and i'm shy but you're the one shaking

letter after letter into the silent void and me to the psychiatrist and red pen bleeds those words that scare me so much friend after friend and they're just friends and i need time for them and me and you're just silent

calm and quiet watch the waters this won't work but don't be silent so i'm not and so it ends and the calm and quiet and silence all give way to noise and all that's left is me making mindless scribbles loop into letters and words that were never mine

It would take about four hours and a psychiatrist to explain everything that's referenced in that, since it's pretty much a summary of both the good and bad stuff of a two year plus relationship.

...I feel a bit better now. If it wasn't after four, I'd do some writing and then go to bed... I have some Saga stuff I REALLY want to write, but the problem is, it's ep seventeen stuff at EARLIEST, and... y'know... I have to write 16 first. (Though I may just write 17 now for awhile, because... mwahahahaha. Um.)

Right. I promise not to angst like this for awhile. Though I actually think those poems were surprisingly decent. For me, anyway.
Becky had too much free time at 4:21 AM

I've finished yet another Saga chapter, which I should be happy about. I also had a revelation about how to handle upcoming events in a way that will be VERY satisfying to write (mwahahahahahahaha), which I am thrilled about, but I feel kind of guilty. I am really really really trying to write Laddage and Silver. Really.

Laddage is just so damned hard to write. I won't get in to all of why here; suffice to say that for all it's funny, writing it depresses the hell out of me. I don't want to go in to why. I don't want the depression right now, I just had a good fucking day, and I'm on a bit of a post-party let down anyway, and I don't need to cry myself to sleep, thankyouverymuch.

Ok. It doesn't depress me that much. But if I don't have the proper inspiration--and I never do--it's bloody awful. *sigh* And my own issues aside, the whole thing is the same joke over and over, and Rachel is rightly worried that people will get impatient with that. We're both impatient writing it, but may have found a temporary fix to the problem. *sigh*

Anyway.

As for Silver... I love her. I love Archer. But I kind of feel that I've outgrown them; I never, ever have the same story flashes that I get for the Saga or even for the Lads, like, once a year, or for Seven's Story or some random other side projects. I don't know why I keep it around; sentimental value, probably, but man... It gets updated maybe once a year. I could probably relegate it to the writing section of this page, like the other never-updated-stuff that's left over from Blue, but don't want to. I also don't want to have a site sitting around that I'm never going to update. I eventually killed SMI off, didn't I? *sigh*

My writing has improved so much in the last year... I don't even mean that braggingly. I'm so tempted to throw out the first fifty pages of Seven's Story (or post them here) and just start again. I have a much better idea of the characters and the plot now. It's almost painful to read the early bits... But I'm also lazy. And it's far from being my main project and all.

I love the Saga. Love it love it love it. It makes me crazy, though; it takes up all of my creative energy. And it's this great, overwhelming massive thing, and it's my baby and I love it, but... Man, sometimes I need a break. When I eventually finish Season Two (I'd say it's between two thirds and three quarters done) I'm going to take a break for real this time. Probably. I need it, I need to focus on other things. Temira, maybe. I made a mock up of what the comic page (not page in the comic, the comic site) might look like, though I don't plan to post it ever.I just don't have the skills it takes to do a comic. Or at least, I don't have the ability to put out something less than perfect, and since I don't have the skills for perfection, even if I did have the skills to do a decent job--which I don't, not really--I'd be frustrated.

Maybe I should just stick with writing the damned thing. *sigh* Probably.

*kicks something*

I didn't mean for this to be a rambling, depressed post. I really didn't. But I guess that happens.
Becky had too much free time at 3:58 AM

Saturday, July 13, 2002

Ratha, Mythan's chief agent.
Becky had too much free time at 5:52 PM

Friday, July 12, 2002

Thursday, July 11, 2002

page 7

It looks a lot better in my notebook, but overall, I like the way it turned out. It's both the most complex and the messiest page so far, I think... Anyway. Yeah.
Becky had too much free time at 2:07 PM

Blogger has been annoying me greatly lately, but it's a free service, so I s'pose I shouldn't complain. Grrrr, though.

Two things. One, Nic drew Daevan, which is nice, because he actually looks human and not like I drew him. I'm not sure where to put the picture, though... Hm. Either I'll create a guest art thing or just move it up when I eventually make a page for the comic. For now, it resides in my own art directory.

Also, if I hadn't mentioned it, Nic rules, and her new layout does too, so everyone go look at it. Check? Check.

Second (hah, you thought "also" meant "second," but no no...) when I was briefly computerless (sob!!) I ended up drawing a bit, riffing off of Nic's style, of course. Because that's what I do. So my attempt at a neat half background thing...Arizona Rose. Don't ask; I was watching a western (er, western spoof) and using the basics of my Spanish Rose costume from Bye Bye Birdie, and it just happened. I like it a lot though it would have been easier if I had a freaking pencil sharpener.

I also drew and inked the next comic page, though I'm waiting for the afore mentioned freakin' pencil sharpener before I color it.
Becky had too much free time at 12:06 PM

Sunday, July 07, 2002

Maybe if I don't explain no one will notice....
Becky had too much free time at 10:08 PM

Page 6.

Hmmm. Well, overall, I like this page. In theory I like this page. I like the page layout; I like the first panel a lot. I like the door in the second panel, and the shadowed Daevan. And I even like how Daevan turned out in the third panel. I just hate Lesl. Luckily, we never see him again (he only has a name because he was more important when I was writng it out in story format.)

Anyway. Yes. Daevan = fun. He doesn't look as good as he should (read: doesn't look hot, really) but I luuuurve him anyway. But I have this issue where I love my characters far too much. I'm not sure colored pencils is really what I want to do for it, but I like this better than the black/white/gray... Thing... I did last time. So, we'll see.

Do I talk too much? Y'think? *sigh*
Becky had too much free time at 9:04 PM

Saturday, July 06, 2002

Also, kiss practice drawing, 'cause there's gonna be some kissing coming up. Also some hitting and some swearing and Daevan being a real asshole, 'cause, well, he can.

Expect next comic page... I dunno. Within a few days.
Becky had too much free time at 6:53 PM

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

Ilyan x Keres flashback slash.

**cracks up**
Becky had too much free time at 12:15 AM

Monday, July 01, 2002

Ask and ye shall recieve.
comic page 4
and page 5.

I was trying to decide how I want to color the comic. I honestly don't know how to do just black and white color, which sounds ridiculous; I did pencil color with four shades of gray (actually; with black, two shades of gray and a pale blue) and ended up putting the pages in grayscale anyway. I wasn't trying to color color, just give the illusion that everything isn't perfectly blank white.

What did I learn? This isn't the way to go.

I'm really happy with the first panel on page four; the profiles turned out all right. This is surprising for many reasons, including but not limited to 1) I can't draw profiles and 2) I can't draw people sitting. Or chairs, for that matter. And the background there? I hope you enjoyed it, because you'll probably never see a background again in this comic. Ever. Because I suck and I don't know what I'm doing.

Mythan's hair got a bit... Out of control. His facial hair did, too; he's not suppoed to be beared or mustached, just ultra-scruffy because he's too lazy to shave when his fiancee isn't around, but it somehow kept turning into much fuller facial hair. Grrrr. And his costume isn't quite as ridiculously simple as it looks in these pages; he wears lots of Nifty Armor, but not inside for dinner. Or whatever he and Arant are doing.

Oh, and Charix is the name of the largest city in Ledian. (As opposed to Ledian City, which is smaller, but the capitol.)

Neither of the bottom panels turned out well enough to warrant talking about, really.
I actually kind of like the way Mythan turned out in the first panel on page five; it's nothing great, but I like the way he's holding the bottle. For no apparent reason. (Except that, though it's not clear here, Mythan is a bit of a lush....)
Hand on sword, blah blah blah, didn't feel like another plain panel of someone talking, ugly, whatever...
The picture in panel three sucks outright, but I like the way the text arrangement turned out a lot. Sigh.
But panel four rocks! Um, sort of. I like the way Arant looks here (young and cute!) and I like Mythan's hair from the back. Snerk. And again, I like the text arrangement.
Five would be okay if it wasn't for Arant's disembodied creepy floating arm. Um. Eeeep. And the last panel I like, though I'm not sure why.

I had a lot of fun writing the interplay between Arant and Mythan; it was tricky because I had to be consise (REALLY consise, which I'm not good at at all, and I had to shorten things even MORE when I actually put the text on) but I don't think the exposition sounds too forced. A little bit, sure, but it's not as bad as some other things I've written. And I enjoy the bit about Mythan's fiancee at the end. Though Mythan would never, ever cheat on her ("her" being "Breena, Empress of Everything"). He did grow up in the area, though... Snerk.

And it's not like Arant would actually go to a brothel; he's the World's Nicest Guy: his job is to wander around helping people, he doesn't drink or smoke or do anything bad, he's generally friendly... Ridiculously nice, actually. Thus, most of the girls he meets fall instantly in love with him, though he's also clueless about that. Deeply cute that way. ^_^

Mythan, like I said, is a bit of a lush... But he's also way cool. A bit older than Arant (who's around 19 somewhere); part of the reason he ended up with facial hair is that it helped make him the teensiest bit older looking. He should be somewhere in his late twenties or early thirties. His technical title is General, but secretly he's just in charge of Ledian Security. (Ratha is an undercover agent of his.)

I'll admit it, I luuuurve Mythan and Arant. They're really my two oldest characters; I remember creating them in about seventh grade, and the whole world of Temira was really designed to accomadate them. Sure, it's changed a lot, and they've definite changed a lot, but still. I didn't do much with them for year, but they just smacked me upside the head with a carp and demanded attention. And because I will always have a fondness for them, just because they're my oldest children (so to speak), I don't mind giving it to them.

B'sides, soon we get to meet Daevan, and he's the story's designated Sexy Bitch.... :)
Becky had too much free time at 1:28 PM