Chapter Thirty-One: Pranks and Plagues

With the lights out and both Sneakers and Maverick off running two cabins' worth of sheets at an all-night laundromat, there was no one to stop the boys' planning session. "What hurts isn't the perfume, so much as being kicked out of our bunk because of a bunch of stupid animals," Spot muttered, staring up at the ceiling of the dining hall. "And I bet they didn't know it would attract stupid animals."

"So what do you want to do about it?" Race asked.

"Get them back."

"Duh," Race said. "I meant, more specifically, what do we want to do to them?"

"I suppose letting it go isn't an option?" David mused.

"Don't be lame, Mouth," Snitch answered.

"And can I just say how glad I man that that nickname caught on?" David added darkly.

"Was there ever any doubt?" Skittery answered.

"So what are we going to do?" Spot demanded.

"Why must I be responsible for everything?" Racetrack sighed. "I'd say some well placed insects, but that's already been done this summer."

"But I do like the idea of chasing them out of their cabins," Spot said. "It's only fair."

"Ways to get girls out of their cabins for awhile..." Racetrack said. "Let's see. I suppose my parents wouldn't like us to set anything on fire..."

"No kidding," David said. "I mean, you only just got off the hook for not doing anything wrong; imagine if you tried arson."

"No fire, what else you got?" Spot asked.

"I guess flooding goes along with fire, and we really shouldn't destroy anyone's property. That would make my mom pretty mad."

"And we don't want that," David agreed.

"Even though they kind of did that to us," Spot put in. "I mean, not destroyed. But Maverick and Sneakers have hours of laundry to get done."

"Jack ought to appreciate that," David added, mostly to himself.

Race snorted. "No kidding. Okay. So animals overran our bunks. We could do that to them back."

"What kind of animals?" Spot asked.

"Uh... let's see," Race mused. "Frogs. Snakes. Other various small and vaguely slimy things one might find in a stream or under a rock..."

"And where are we going to find these creatures?" Spot asked.

"Presumably under rocks or in a stream," David said.

"Shut it, Mouth. Race, you know where we can find anything?"

"Spot, I've lived here my whole life. And I have seven older brothers. You think I can't find a couple frogs and snakes?"

"Your brothers showed you where?" Snitch asked.

"No, my brothers used to throw them at me; I followed them back to their natural habitat."

"I can't tell if you're joking or not," Spot said.

"I wouldn't put it past his brothers," David said, thinking back to the insane dinner he'd spent with the Higgins family.

"So we're agreed?" Race asked. "Give me a day to plan. This is going to be..."

"Awesome?" Snitch suggested.

"Something like that, anyway."

*

Race knew the camp territory very well; not just the main section of camp, but the extended land that was used for hiking and campouts. He knew where to find a small stream that fed into the lake, and also where it got a bit bigger and the land around it became slightly swamp-like. And his mother was only slightly suspicious when he suggested that the senior boys spend a day hiking; of course they couldn't go alone, but Maverick volunteered to take a day out of the theater (with Medda's permission, of course) and supervise the hike.

Maverick also knew what they were up to, because Race and Spot had had a short discussion with the two boys' counselors, who had been none too thrilled about their night doing laundry. They didn't know exactly what had happened, little enough to deny knowing anything to Mrs. Higgins, but since everyone expected some sort of return prank, that wasn't too hard.

David did not enjoy hiking. He enjoyed Maverick's attempts at getting them to chant and sing as they hiked even less. By the third time through Everywhere We Go, he found himself seriously contemplated accidentally leaving a toad in Maverick's bunk, but since he was distracted by slapping mosquitoes and trying not to step in squishy mud holes so deep his entire ankle would get swallowed, he didn't have much energy left for planning revenge.

The matter of transporting the animals was a bit more difficult. Racetrack assured the group repeatedly that the snakes were non-poisonous, and so they were summarily dropped into a canvas bag. The frogs were another matter; they didn't want to drop them in the bag with the snakes, and bagging them at all seemed hard. They didn't want to accidentally hurt them, and frogs were less flexible than snakes and could break legs. But frogs could also easily jump out of pockets, and carrying them was a bit too suspicious.

It was Ian who realized that cargo pockets were a perfect solution. They were large enough to fit a frog, and they shut with buttons to keep the frogs inside. Of course, only fou boys were wearing cargo pants or shorts, but that meant that they were able to hold eight frogs, which seemed like a pretty decent amount.

"The hard part is going to be sneaking in to the bunks," Racetrack explained. "It has to be close to bed, if we want the animals to actually be in their beds. But we need to get them all out of their cabins."

"And we're going to do that how?"

"Well, so far my only idea is to spread the rumor that Mush is going to do a strip tease in the dining hall before lights out, which I think would do the trick nicely."

"Um, excuse me?" Mush said. "I... what?"

"Well, so far I'm the only one who's come up with anything for this prank, so if you've got a better idea, speak up," Race said.

"Well, you wouldn't really have to strip," David said. "I mean, if we spread the rumor that should get them there."

"Not every girl has a crush on me," Mush objected.

"Enough of them do, and the rest would be curious, ya cutie," Ian said, and pinched Mush's cheek, his fingers still muddy from catching frogs.

"Then I guess the question is, if we get them there and Mush doesn't strip, how do we keep them there for long enough?" Spot asked. "Especially because they're going to be on the look out for someone to cause trouble."

The boys fell quiet as they walked back towards their bunks, done with the alleged hike. Everyone was muddy and wet; they had the rest of the afternoon off of activities so they'd have enough time to clean up—there were only four shower stalls go to around, after all.

"I don't care how desperate we are, I'm not stripping," Mush objected, as they walked in to the cabins.

"And since fire and flooding are still out..." Race sighed. "Well, maybe if we work quickly."

"Or maybe," David said, a half-formed idea coming to him, "what if we just cause a scene?"

*

The fight started during the evening, after-dinner activity. They were doing three-legged races, each cabin picking one representative. It wasn't coincidence that Spot was chosen from Ferguson or that Racetrack was chosen from Pentland, and they started bickering almost as soon as their legs were tied together.

Spot didn't get really mad until they tripped halfway through the obstacle course, which meant they lost—to be more specific, they lost to the very girls who had pranked them two nights previously. Fighting about that was perfectly believable.

An hour later, sure enough, the rumor that Mush was going to strip—he'd been dared to, according to the rumor—had all of the girls in the dining hall, even the ones who had never shown any interest in Mush before. And though Mush was flattered, he was also mildly terrified.

So, when he turned to the girls and declared, "You are all freaks, who said I was going to strip?" the horror in his voice was genuine.

Ian gleefully waved. "That was me! Oooh, got ya, huh?"

"That's your idea of a prank?" Mush demanded.

"Well, it got you all worked up, didn't it?"

"God, you people are so immature," Race said, still glaring at Spot, as he had been since the tumble during the race.

"You're just pissed off that you never found your mattress!"

"I did so!"

"Not until after Jack told you where it was, and anyway, you know I would have won the prank war, and I'd have won at cards, and you're just jealous."

"Me? Jealous of you? Believe me, Conlon, that would never, ever happen."

"Hey, hey," put in Teach, one of the new boys in Ferguson. "Can't we all just calm down?"

"I'm perfectly calm," Spot answered. "Higgins is the one who's freaking out."

"I'm not freaking out," Race said. "And anyway, you want to talk about jealous? Try your mom, every time I talk to another girl."

"My mom?" Spot echoed. "Please, someone tell me he didn't just talk about my mom."

"I think he did," Ian said.

"That was a low blow, Higgins."

"Yeah, that's what I told her."

Spot sputtered for a moment, then reached for the salt shaker on his table and hurled it at Racetrack. It glanced off of Race's shoulder, and Race let out a swear word, dove for the tray of cookies on his table, and flung the contents at Spot.

No one moved, or even thought to.

*

Sneaking in to the girls' section of camp was harder than David thought. True, there was only one female counselor on patrol; but it didn't take too long to walk the circuit all the way around the cabins and back. And though it was Chauncey's day off, Paint was still in camp; true, Sneakers had agreed to try and keep her busy, but they didn't really know how long she'd be out.

The fact that they were carrying live animals didn't help any. The frogs had been placed in a cardboard box, which was closed; the snakes were still in the bag.

David looked nervously at his cohorts. He, Skittery, Tag, and Itey had been chosen to sneak into the girls' cabins and drop the animals off. But they had to do it quickly and without turning on any lights, so they didn't accidentally attract attention. "Remember," he hissed, as they came up towards the girls' area and looked around for the counselor on patrol, "two in each bed, and pull the covers up. We meet back at the equipment shed."

"I think we all got it," Itey answered, rolling his eyes a little, but they all started forward quickly, making a beeline for the two cabins.

David could feel his heart pounding as he hurried on to the porch of Murphy One and ushered Skittery inside. The interior of the cabin was almost identical to their own, except messier; not all the bunks were terrible, but the two in the middle were.

"They might never find the animals," Skittery said, quickly opening the box to pull out the first frog. They'd agreed to get the top bunks first, since they could be seen more easily through the window than when they were crouched over to do the bottom beds.

David was not exactly a fan of touching the frogs or the snakes, but when one of the snakes bit him, he managed to stifle the yell. He also dropped the snake, but since he'd been leaning over the bed, it didn't fall too far and its landing was cushioned. "Son of a...." he muttered, and shook a few drops of blood from his finger.

His first thought was actually that he could see whoever's bunk this was going crazy and DNA-scanning the blood drops to discover who dropped the snake in her bed. The second was that he really hoped Race was right, and the snakes were non-poisonous. The third was that he really, really needed a band-aid, because it was continuing to bleed.

"Owwwwwww," he added.

"Shhh," Skittery hissed. "Let's just do this and get out of here."

"It bit me!" David answered indignantly. "And it won't stop bleeding."

"Well, suck on it."

"Isn't that what you're supposed to do with poison bites?" David asked nervously, eyeing his bleeding thumb.

"Yeah, but it can't hurt, right?"

David though about the germs which would be spread to the bite if he stuck it in his mouth. Then he thought about the hopefully-non-existent poison, and stuck his thumb in his mouth. Skittery rolled his eyes, grabbed the box of frogs, and finished the upper bunks by himself. David did his best to help with the bottom one-handed, but as his thumb kept bleeding, he wasn't much use.

Finally, Skittery finished up, rolling his eyes. "Come on, let's go meet the others," he muttered, and they checked to make sure no counselors were in sight before dashing out of the girls' section of camp and back to the equipment shed. Itey and Tag were already waiting.

"What took you?" Itey asked.

"Mouth got bit." Skittery gestured.

David held up his thumb. "Do you think this is swelling?"

"Kind of hard to see through the blood," Itey answered.

"Oh, man. I need to go to the infirmary," David muttered.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Tag asked. "I mean, you don't really want to explain what happened, do you?"

David looked at his thumb and groaned. "Is there a first aid kit in the dining hall?"

"In the kitchen, I think," Skittery said. "Let's go, before they run out of steam."

But in the dining hall, it was very clear that no one had run out of steam at all. Racetrack and Blink had Ian pinned to a table and were grinding cookies into his hair, while Spot had Mush backed into a corner and was throwing napkins and sugar packets at him. The place was in chaos; everyone was shouting and though there wasn't enough food out for a proper food fight, all of the benches seemed to be overturned, the cookie platter was on the floor and all that remained of the cookies were crumbs; someone had spilled the carafe of coffee and knocked over the stacks of cups. The boys who weren't trapped or trapping others were chasing each other around frantically, throwing whatever came to hand. Several of the girls had joined in for the hell of it, but most of them were huddled in the back, fascinated and mildly terrified.

But before David had a chance to get into the kitchen and find the first aid kit, the door to the dining hall banged open again. "What the hell is going on here?!"

He looked behind him, terrified, and saw that Morris Delancey was glaring around the room menacingly. David was suddenly very glad they hadn't been caught sneaking around, since the Delancey brothers were merciless about infractions. At least, that was their reputations; David didn't think anyone had been caught since he'd been there, but he'd heard about previous summers, and it made sense based on what he did know about the Delanceys.

Everyone froze, and finally Ian slid off the table and shook the cookie crumbs out of his hair.

"Uh," Racetrack said. "We were just... goofing around," he said.

"Well, now you're going to clean up this mess," Morris said. "And then you're all going back to your bunks, and I'm going to write up a report to give to Mrs. Higgins, and I don't think she'll be too pleased."

"Well, actually, if we clean up, I don't think she'll be too upset," Racetrack answered. "Not that I'd have any idea what Mrs. Higgins might think."

"Shut it, smart mouth," Morris answered,

Racetrack smirked a little bit, but what he said was, "Come on, let's get the brooms."

"Uhhh..." David followed Racetrack towards a broom closet, flanked by a few others, and muttered, "I kind of need a band-aid really badly. Are you sure about that, um, non-poison thing?"

"Positive," Race said. "Why—oh. Yow," he added, seeing David's thumb. He turned back to Morris. "Someone stomped on David's hand, he needs to clean it up before he passes out from blood loss." He grabbed David's wrist and held up his hand for Morris to see. "Can he go take care of that?"

"Whatever," Morris answered.

Race grinned back at him. "You're positively benevolent, Morris."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Morris demanded, as David walked into the kitchen. Behind him, he heard Racetrack asking if anyone could define the word for Morris.

*

Though they'd joked about it, no one had actually expected the yelling to be audible from the boys' cabins. And so, several minutes after Morris marched them back to their bunks, it was a pleasant surprise to hear distant shrieks.

"Music to my ears," Racetrack murmured.

Twenty minutes later, Denton swept into their cabin. "Guess where you're all going to be directly after breakfast tomorrow?" he asked.

"On an all-expenses paid trip to Paris?"

Denton regarded Racetrack for a long moment, then declared, "I'm very glad you aren't my son. I don't think I'd have the patience."

Racetrack grinned back at him. "You know, I get that an awful lot."

"Imagine my surprise. Rick," he said, turning to Sneakers, "do you have any idea what these gentlemen have been up to?"

"Well, Morris said they were messing up the dining hall pretty badly." He shot a sideways look at Racetrack, who shrugged innocently.

"Someone has dropped a significant number of snakes—and frogs—in to the senior girls' bunks."

"Couldn't have been us," Skittery said easily. "We were all in the dining hall."

"I've got the cookie crumbs down my shorts to prove it," Snitch said.

"Wow, didn't need to know that," Mush added.

"Be that as it may," Denton said, "you are all going to be in my office directly after breakfast to explain yourselves to Mrs. Higgins. She's very much looking forward to it. Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"You can probably make it to the state border by sun up if you hitchhike."

*

Sun up—or a least, the first bell—found Racetrack whistling.

"How are you so cheerful when you know you're going to die?" David demanded testily.

"You're grumpy," Racetrack said.

"My thumb is still throbbing."

"But if it hasn't turned green or fallen off, that's a good sign the snake wasn't poisonous."

"I thought you said you were sure it wasn't!" David yelped.

"Well, I was pretty sure," Race said. "And anyway, my mom is going to blame me, so you'll all be off the hook."

"Then why are you so cheerful?" David repeated.

"Because between the screaming from their bunk, and getting to destroy the dining hall, I had a great time." Race shrugged. "And that's going out with a bang."

They all trudged in the dining hall. The meal wasn't much fun, except for a brief moment while walking in to it, when Jack sidled up next to David.

"So, guess who has patrol duty tonight?" he asked quietly.

"You, I assume?"

"Yup. And you know you, it would just suck if you snuck out tonight, too." Jack winked at him.

David flushed a tiny bit, momentarily forgetting that Mrs. Higgins was going to kill them. Part of him immediately balked at the idea of sneaking out; it was definitely against the rules, and he'd be in enough trouble anyway. But then he remembered he'd snuck out twice before, though he'd been caught the first time; and it meant he would get some time alone with Jack.

Time alone with Jack trumped all else.

Breakfast was fine, despite the dread. And after the meal ended, Mrs. Higgins accompanied them up to the camp office. It was rather cramped, and she sighed.

"Gentlemen, I don't think I need to say how disappointed I am," she said flatly. "Someone could have been badly injured. Mr. Jacobs, why am I not surprised to see you have on a bandage?"

"What, this?" he answered, looking at his thorn. "I ran into a pricker bush. Not very coordinated. I'm sure you noticed."

"I noticed that every time there's any sort of trouble, your name is almost as high on the list as my..." She gazed at Racetrack for a moment, then sighed. "I'm very disappointed," she said again.

"...And?" Racetrack finally asked, when she said nothing else.

"Don't do it again."

He blinked. "That's it?"

She nodded. "The girls got the exact same speech when they perfumed your bunk; it would hardly be fair to do worse to you, during prank week. However, the week ends now, and I don't want to have any more trouble from any of you." She looked directly at David. "Is that understood?"

Everyone nodded quickly, a little amazed. They started to shuffle out of the office, and she cleared her throat. "Mr. Jacobs, have Triage look at your thumb. I'd rather not get sued if it falls off."

"He promised they were non-poisonous!" David called back.

*

Triage made David ice the snake bite for an hour, put an anti-bacterial cream on it, and sent him to activities. And, amazed that they hadn't all been kicked out of camp, and relieved that the prank war was over, he found himself looking forward to his evening with Jack. He spent most of the day in the theater, slightly distracted; and the day seemed to go far too slowly for his liking.

He spent dinner shooting quick glances at Jack, who grinned back at him as subtly as he could manage. The after-dinner activity seemed torturously long. After that, it was an effort to not snap at everyone in the pre-curfew snack, but he was relieved when it was finally lights out.

David stared out the window as he waited for everyone to sleep, and saw Jack go by with his flashlight three times. Then, around eleven-thirty, he was sure he was the only one awake. Giddy with the thought of finally, finally being able to spend time alone with Jack—he realized they'd been together for almost two weeks, and hadn't been alone together since the night he'd snuck out—he pulled his clothes back on and hurried out of the cabin.

Jack was waiting for him on the path.

"Hey," David said quietly.

Jack wrapped an arm around him and kissed him quickly. "I'm glad you came."

"You're all I could think of, all day," David said.

"Same here. David... I'm so glad I know you." Jack reached for David's hand. "Maybe that's corny," he added, pocketing the flashlight.

"No, it's—"

"Oh, I'm so not done," Jack interrupted, laughing. "I just... you know what my family is like, a little, and so every summer I come here and it's great... But I was really worried about this whole counselor thing. You know, it being different and all. But you... you made my summer fantastic. You're the best thing about this summer."

"You're right," David said. "Corny." He squeezed Jack's hand. "But really sweet."

"And true."

"I can be corny right back," David said, almost laughing to himself. "I mean, I really, really didn't want to come here at all and I thought I'd hate it and everyone would hate me, but..." He paused and looked up at Jack. "But I met you, and this is the happiest I've ever been."

"Davey..." Jack murmured. "You think we're too sappy?"

"Maybe a little," David said. "But I don't care too much."

"Me, neither."

They wandered in silence for a few minutes, down the hill towards the dining hall. Jack insistently tugged David through the dining hall and on to the back porch, where they stood side by side and watched the moon reflect over the lake. "It's beautiful," David said quietly.

"Glad you like it," Jack mumbled. He sat on the bench at the edge of the porch and David sat next to him, and leaned his head on Jack's shoulder.

"I feel like I should say something," David said eventually.

"'Bout what?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. It's just so quiet."

"And you are the Walking Mouth," Jack added.

David elbowed him gently. "I hate that."

"Really?"

"No," David said. "But I feel like I should. Is that weird?"

"Nah. I mean, hey. People think it's pretty cool the way you stood up to Mrs. Higgins, and that thing with the frogs was pretty awesome."

"Yeah, except that a snake bit me," David groused.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

David held up his hand with the bandaged thumb. "It bled all over the place."

"Aww." Jack took David's hand in his own. "Poor baby." He smiled and kissed David's thumb lightly. David blushed a tiny bit.

They sat together for awhile, enjoying the cool breeze off the lake, watching clouds drift across the sky. "This is nice," Jack mumbled finally.

David nodded.

"But I actually should get to work. I mean, in case someone actually gets sick or something. C'mon." He stood and offered David a hand up, then added quickly, "I just really like the lake and kind of wanted to share it with you because I also kind of really like you."

David kissed him quickly. "Me, too," he said.

Jack reached for his hand again, and they began to silently walk back up the bath towards the cabins. 'This is a lot more fun than the first time you caught me sneaking out," David said eventually.

"No kidding," Jack agreed.

David glanced at his watch and saw it was after twelve. He yawned, but didn't care if he was a bit tired; being with Jack was worth it. Even though they weren't saying much, just getting a chance to hold hands and occasionally kiss without having to worry that someone was watching.

It was another fifteen minutes before Jack got another brilliant idea. "You know, you never did get over your horse thing."

"Oh, no," David said, shaking his head. "Nuh uh, I know what you're thinking."

Jack grinned and kissed him. "Come on, David," he said. "I love them, so horses can't be that bad, right?"

David grumbled. "If it wasn't for the fact that I'd like to think you have very good taste..."

Jack put an arm around his waist. "I have amazing taste," he said. "As you should know."

"Jaaaaaack," David whined, even as he let Jack lead him to the stable. Because, as much ash he didn't ever want to be face to face with a horse again, especially not after the disaster where he'd earned his nickname, Jack did like them, and after all, Jack trying to get him over his fear had been what got him and Jack together.

Jack grinned at him as he flipped the stable light on.

"Is that a good idea?" David asked.

Jack shrugged. "Who's gonna notice? No one is up except the girl's counselor, and she can't see from that half of camp."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Jack nodded, and took David's hand. "Come on."

"I don't think I want to..."

"It would mean a lot to me," Jack said. "Besides, I promised you I'd get you over your irrational fear. And—"

"It's not irrational," David half-whined.

"—I also told your mom I would." Jack took David's hand and led him into the stable. David dragged his feet but followed, because he liked Jack more than he hated horses.

Jack pulled David over to Vanessa, and scratched behind her ears. "See, she likes it," he told David. "Come on, just pat her nose."

"I liked it better last time, when we were making out," David answered, but let Jack guide his hand up to the horse. With Jack's fingers closed over his own, they scratched her nose together, and patted her cheek. She whickered and David tried to pull away, but Jack kept his arms around his shoulders, and so David fell still. When Jack seemed satisfied he finally pulled away.

"Now that that's done and I didn't have a panic attack, can we make out?" David asked.

Jack tilted his head, as if considering. "Well, you know. I guess." But he laughed and leaned down to kiss David, who was relieved not to have to deal with the horse anymore.

Limbs tangled together so that they almost tripped, Jack led David to a bench at the side of the stable, where they sat and kissed. "Jack," David mumbled, between kisses, "I hate horses."

"Well," Jack answered, "I like you," kiss, "so we can compromise."

"How?"

"I thought making out in the stable would be a good start." Jack just held David close for a moment, feeling the warmth of his body as they pressed together, before turning his head to kiss David again. And he could barely believe how comfortable and happy he felt, with David's arms around him, David's lips on his, the scent of and feel and taste of David all around him.

And it all came crashing down when he heard Oscar Delancey's voice say, "So I guess it's true. Jacky-boy Kelly really is a fag."

[End Chapter Thirty-One]
Chapter Thirty-Two: Inquisition