Chapter Thirty-Four: Saying Goodbye

Jack had stepped out of his cabin to walk to the communal bathroom when he saw Mr. Higgins and Oscar Delancey, walking towards one of the cabins. He froze and stared, praying that it wasn't that Oscar hadn't found a way to convince Mr. and Mrs. Higgins that he was telling the truth. But they kept walking down the path, past Jack's cabin, and he let out a deep breath. Something might be going on, but at least at the moment, it didn't concern him.

After his campers were in bed, Jack debated heading down to the dining hall to get a cup of coffee, but figured that David would be there, and he wouldn't be able to totally control himself and not look adoringly at David.

But still, it seemed too early for bed; Jack was wide awake, and still feeling almost giddy with relief that he wasn't going to be fired. So instead of heading to bed with the campers, he wandered down towards the counselor downtime cabin.

The cabin was mostly empty; Artemis and Reesie were there chatting, and they looked up and waved at Jack before going back to their conversation. Jack shrugged and looked for a magazine he hadn't read yet; the administration was kind enough to keep the counselor cabin stocked with them.

There wasn't anything particularly interesting in that week's Time, but it was better than nothing. Jack was still reading it almost twenty minutes later when the door was shoved open, banging hard against the wall behind it and shuddering in place.

Everyone in the cabin stared up at the doorway, and saw Morris Delancey standing framed by it, glaring dangerously.

Jack didn't know what was going on, but got the feeling that something big had happened when he'd seen Oscar and Mr. Higgins.

"What's..." Jack started.

"Like you don't know, you queer little worm!"

Jack glanced over at the two girls, who looked just as startled and clueless as he felt. "You wanna tell me what's going on, or just yell some more?"

"My brother," Morris snarled. "He got fired."

Jack blinked. "I didn't have anything to do with that. If that's what you're implying."

"The hell you didn't!"

"I didn't!" Jack yelled back. "He accused me of—if he was fired it was his own fault."

Morris snorted. "He accused you of kissing a camper, 'cause he saw you do it," he said. "And you know you did it."

"I didn't do anything wrong," Jack muttered.

"Yeah, well, whatever you did, he just got fired 'cause you lied about it. But don't think you're getting away with this. We're not gonna let you get away with this!"

"I'm not getting away with anything," Jack said. "I didn't—"

"The hell you didn't," Morris said. "And you're gonna pay."

"I told you, I didn't do anything wrong," Jack snapped, standing up. "And I didn't have anything to do with your brother getting fired—this is the first I've even heard about it!"

"Well, it won't be the last," Morris muttered. "You might think we're stupid, Kelly, but we ain't. I already called my Uncle Wease, and he's callin' a lawyer. And we're gonna sue you—and this camp—just you wait. Everyone's gonna hear the truth. Even your boyfriend's parents. And I can't wait to hear what they have to say about it."

Jack felt his face go pale. He didn't know if the Delanceys could really sue the camp like Morris was threatening, but he did know that if David's parents found out, and if they believed it, they could sue. David said they wouldn't, but...

"Yeah, that's right," Morris snapped. "So we'll see you in court." He turned and stomped back out.

Jack froze, and looked at the two women in the cabin. "I have no idea what he's talking about," he said weakly, and hurried out of the cabin.

Racetrack had made him swear not to get in trouble again. Because trouble for him was trouble for them all—they might sell the camp, and Race would lose his home; David's family could sue him, probably, which he definitely couldn't afford; and David's parents might... Well, David said he was sure they wouldn't care if he was gay, but in Jack's experience, that rarely happened. People would care. And if they reacted badly, if they turned against David...

He didn't want David to go through that. Not like he had. It just wasn't fair.

He had to do something to protect them all. Even if he couldn't stop Oscar from suing for wrongful firing, he thought about the more complicated issues. The potential lawsuit against the camp because of his relationship with David, and the bad publicity they'd get from it, even if the camp came through in tact.

That would be all his fault.

Then that was what he'd have to prevent.

He started towards the dining hall and grabbed Racetrack and David out of the group, pulled them on to the porch. "This isn't exactly non-suspicious," Racetrack reminded him.

"It doesn't matter anymore," Jack said quietly. He filled them in on what Morris had said.

David's eyes went wide. "What are we going to do?" he asked.

"You aren't going to do anything," Jack said.

"But—"

"I'm going to go...." He took a deep breath. "I'm going to go tell the truth about what happened. Everything that happened."

"But—"

"I have to," Jack said.

Race said nothing, just watched. David was staring at Jack, his eyes wide and unhappy. "You'll get fired," David said.

Jack nodded. "I know. So they can protect themselves and the camp. It's..." He glanced towards the dining hall and knew they could be seen through the window, but he didn't care. Everyone was going to find out anyway. He reached forward and took David's hand. "It's for the best, anyway. I want to tell the world about us, because I... I care about you, and you're the best thing that's happened to me in so long. And I'm not embarrassed or ashamed about that. I'd be happy to tell everyone about it."

"But you'll get fired," David said again. "It's not a matter of being proud, Jack. I'm proud of us." He squeezed Jack's hand. "But I'd rather be together than anything else."

Jack couldn't help himself, he smiled. Racetrack rolled his eyes and wanted to kick them both for getting themselves into this to begin with... But at least Jack had worked out for himself what to do, which was a relief. Racetrack had quietly come to the same conclusion, but still hated the thought of asking his best friend to get himself in trouble.

"I want to be with you, too," Jack said. "But this is more important than just you and me. So we get to go public with this amazing relationship, and the camp gets to stay in tact... Everyone gets something."

"It's not much of a consolation prize," David said. "Telling everyone, and not getting to be together."

"Only for a couple of weeks," Race finally put in. "There's not even two weeks of camp left. And you'll both be in New York after that, for a few days, at least."

David sighed. "You really can't think of anything else?"

Jack shook his head, and they looked over at Race. He shook his head, too.

"Well, damn." David hesitated. "I mean, have you really thought about this? If you get fired, then the next job you apply to is going to find out that you broke your contract and... I mean, that won't be good, either."

"No, it won't," Jack said. "But it's not like I can just let them get sued. I mean..." He laughed a little, but it wasn't a happy laugh at all. "Let's face it, my future was never, like... I just don't think I'm going anywhere great anyway, so who cares if it's a little harder?"

"Don't talk like that," David said firmly. "You and I are going wherever we want—"

"Davey," Jack said, sounding embarrassed. "You're not making this easy for me."

"I don't want you to do this," David said. "I don't."

Jack hesitated.

Racetrack cleared his throat. "David..."

David groaned. "Don't say anything, Race. I know," he said. "I just don't like it."

"Neither do I," Race said.

"Me three," Jack said. "But, uh, I'd kind of like to get this over with..."

"I'm going with you," David said immediately.

Jack hesitated, then nodded. After all, Mrs. Higgins and Mr. Denton had promised David wouldn't be in trouble, so maybe it would be better if he was there. Maybe it would give him a little more courage, because the idea of disappointing Mrs. Higgins was still hard for Jack to stomach.

Jack looked at Race, who sighed. "I'd better not. Mom will be pissed, so if I wait and talk to her tomorrow... maybe I can calm her down or something."

"Or maybe you'll honorably commit suicide on our behalves?" David muttered cynically.

"Mom isn't so bad," Race said, and thought about it. "Well. Not so bad. I can try, anyway. But you two had better..."

"Yeah." Jack took a deep breath. "Let's go, Dave. Before I lose my nerve."

David nodded silently, and they made their way off the porch and on to the main path. When they were out of sight of the dining hall, Jack reached for David's hand, and even though they knew it was possible they might be seen, neither one cared. It was all going to be rumor mill fodder anyway, and being together really felt like the only way to cope. But even so, the trek up to the Higgins house, which was built to overlook most of the main camp lands, felt like it took hours.

Once they reached the Higgins' porch, Jack took a deep breath. He looked at David and gave him a very, very quick peck on the lips, then rang the bell. It was after nine, so it took a minute before the door was answered, but finally it opened. Mr. Higgins stood behind it, looking surprised.

"I need to talk to you," Jack said softly.

Mr. Higgins blinked, then nodded. "Well, this doesn't bode well," he answered, and stood aside to let them in. He led them into a living room which looked well worn, but was covered with pictures of the family. Which, David mused, wouldn't be too hard with a family the size of their clan. He and Jack sat on an overstuffed, faded couch, and waited. A moment later, Mr. Higgins returned, his wife accompanying him.

"Jack?" she asked.

"Mrs. Higgins, I... I haven't been entirely honest with you," Jack finally said, his voice breaking. "I didn't want it to... Whatever I was thinking, it doesn't matter, but I, I know you went out on a limb to defend me and believe me, and I couldn't... I couldn't risk you both getting in any kind of trouble because of me. I'm so sorry."

Mr. and Mrs. Higgins exchanged glances, and finally Mrs. Higgins nodded. "Start at the beginning."

Jack stared down at his mud-stained sneakers and started. It was hard to get through the story, but when he floundered, he felt the slight pressure of David's hand on his. David didn't say anything, though, so Jack continued, and explained what had happened, how they'd gotten together, and what had happened the night they'd been caught.

When he finished, there was silence. It was David who broke it, saying firmly, "Being with Jack was my decision. He never pressured me, ever. So everything is at least half my fault."

"Dave..." Jack mumbled.

"Unfortunately, that's not quite how it works," Mrs. Higgins said. "Jack... It's clear you know how serious this is."

Jack nodded. "I'm sorry I lied," he said quietly. "But I'm not sorry about my relationship with David. He makes me happier than... Than a lot of things."

"We do understand that," Mr. Higgins put in. "And in other circumstances, we'd be very pleased for you."

"That... That means a lot to me," Jack said. He finally looked up, looked at them seriously. "I know you two have done so much for me. I... I know you offered to adopt me."

Another silence descended. This was news to David, who knew that Jack was close to the Higgins family, but hadn't realized he was so close. And Mr. and Mrs. Higgins hadn't told Jack about that particular foiled plan of theirs; they hadn't wanted him to get his hopes up in case it didn't work out. Which, obviously, it hadn't. His mother had refused their offer, despite the fact that she seemed to resent Jack's presence.

"Mom told me when she was pissed at me one night," Jack said. "That I should be grateful she hadn't just given me away when she had the chance."

"Oh, Jack," Mrs. Higgins murmured, and did the last thing anyone had expected her to. She sat down on the couch next to him, put her arms around him, and hugged him close. They stayed that way for a long minute, and suddenly to David, Jack looked so much younger. Maybe because he'd missed this, when he was younger; David doubted he'd ever really had any tenderness from either parent. And maybe Mrs. Higgins, despite being so strict and so stern, really did have a gentler side to her—or at least a lot of practice at helping out upset teenage boys.

When they finally parted, Jack seemed to have lost his composure a little, but he seemed more comfortable. And Mrs. Higgins didn't seem mad, or disappointed. Maybe just a little concerned.

"Well, this is a real mess," she said finally.

"I'm sorry," Jack said quickly.

"What's done is done. Now we know the truth, and we can begin to fix things," she said. "And Jack, we do understand that coming here tonight took real bravery, and it shows what we mean to you. Don't think we don't appreciate that."

He nodded.

"Well," Mr. Higgins said. "The way I see it, we've got a few problems to deal with. There's David's family, there's your contract, and there's the Delanceys."

"My family won't be a problem," David said quickly.

"We have to tell them," Mrs. Higgins said.

"No," David answered firmly. "I have to tell them."

"Then call them tomorrow."

David shook his head no. "I'm really, really not ready to do that yet," he said. "I mean, I've barely got my head wrapped around this whole... thing. I wouldn't even know how to tell them, but I think my parents deserve to hear it from me."

Exchanged glances, then, "Maria and I will discuss that."

"We can't do much about the Delanceys," Mrs. Higgins put in. "Regardless of all of what you've just said, I still believe we made the right decision; we also have enough documented incidents of Oscar alone to justify our decision."

Mr. Higgins nodded. "Agreed. And Rebel will do as the unit head for the rest of the summer."

"And... About me?" Jack asked.

More exchanged looks. "Well, we'll have to discuss that, too."

"You can't fire him," David said.

"David..." Mrs. Higgins sighed. "We will do what we can, but... We do have to protect ourselves, and our family."

"You can't fire someone for being gay!"

"David, we would never fire someone for being gay. That's not the issue at all—and it's not a very well kept secret that we have other gay counselors. That is not our concern."

David fell silent, rebuked. It stung mostly because he knew she was right, and though Jack being gay might play worse in court, it was obvious that she and her husband both cared for him and neither wanted to see him hurt.

"I can't believe this," David muttered.

Jack gave his hand a squeeze. "Well, I can... I can handle whatever happens, so it'll be fine."

"David, why don't you head back to your cabin for the night?" Mr. Higgins suggested. "And Jack, you're welcome to stay here; you can take Tony's room."

Understanding the implicit order, Jack nodded. "Yeah, thanks a bunch. I'm really... I'm really sorry."

Mrs. Higgins just nodded. "We know you are, dear. And regardless of what happens, we will always care for you, and this house will always be open to you."

"Thank you," he said quietly. And that seemed all there was to say, for the time; David was whisked back outside, and Jack in to get ready for bed. And once the Higginses were alone again, the discussion really began.

*

"Hi, this is Mike and Gary's message, we can't get to the phone right now. If you leave your name and number, we'll call you right back." Beep.

"Hello, you two, this is Mom calling. I know it's late, I won't ask what you're doing out at this time of night, but if you could give me a call back—"

"Maria?" The answering machine clicked off, and Gary picked up the phone.

"Gary! I hope I didn't wake you."

"I'm a grad student, Maria, I never sleep. Mike's pretty much unconscious, though; I thought he was going to get it, but he didn't even roll over."

"Sleeping through ruckus was a survival skill in this house," she said.

Gary laughed. "I can believe that. Hey, it's late, is everything okay? Do you want me to wake him?"

"Oh, no, everything's... Well, it can keep until morning."

"Okay." Pause. "Anything I can do? What's going on?"

"Oh, well... Hm." She sighed. "We're just having some problems here, I thought maybe I'd get his opinion on something, but..."

"Here, let me wake him—"

"No, that's fine. It was nice talking to you, dear. How's your..." She trailed off. "How's school?" She changed her mind at last moment; Gary was always a little touchy over the subject of his family, and asking about them didn't seem quite right.

"I spilled coffee on my laptop at three AM last night; I panicked and woke up Mike and made him deal with it. Hence he's so exhausted. Otherwise, school's fine."

"Did he fix it?"

"He says there's not really a cure for coffee drenching, but I'm using his while he fiddles with it at work anyway."

"Ah, well..." She paused, took a deep breath, and commented, "Do you have to get back to work right away?"

"Nah, I'm just grading papers. So really, I'd much prefer talking to gouging my eyes out. Which is my other option."

"That bad?"

"It's the freshman intro class; it's worse than you can imagine. So what's up?"

"Well, I'm not quite sure how to say it... Do you remember Tony's friends? Jack and David?"

"Sure, the mid-western kid with the floppy hair, and the really quiet one."

Mrs. Higgins almost snorted at the description of David as really quiet, but aloud said, "Well, it seems that they're... together."

"Okay."

"And you know I don't have a problem with that, of course, I just wanted to..."

"Maria, I'm sure you're not overreacting, and Mike doesn't think you're homophobic, and neither do I."

She let out a relieved breath. Things had been awkward when Mike had first come out, and nearly as awkward again when he'd first brought Gary home from college. The whole family was used to them being together now, but it had taken quite awhile to adjust.

"Thank you, although for a change, that wasn't quite what my problem was."

"Oh?"

"Jack's a counselor and David is a camper, and we're worried about legal problems more than anything else."

"Oh."

"And even that—well, we're dealing with it as best as we can. But we aren't sure if we should alert David's parents yet... they don't know anything about him being gay, and he says he'd prefer not to be rushed into telling them."

"And you wanted Mike's opinion on this?"

"And yours," she said. "I know you... well, neither of you had the best experiences with your family finding out."

"Maria, Mike really isn't upset anymore. And I've never felt unwelcome in your house. Stop worrying."

"I do my best not to worry, but he's my son... Well, I can't change what I did in the past, I just hope he knows how much I love him, and how happy I am for the two of you."

"We both know, Maria. So you're trying to decide if you should out this kid?"

"That's a large part of your dilemma, yes," she agreed.

"Oh, man. That's a toughie." Gary sighed into the phone. "Well. If I'd had my way, I still wouldn't be out to my parents. That was ten times the fiasco of Mike's coming out, and my dad still won't be in a room with me, so... Yeah, it's no fun to get outed. But on the other hand, waiting wouldn't have helped anything for me. It might have for Mike, though."

"Do you really think so?"

"I think he'd have handled you guys better if he'd been more ready to come out, a little more mature, sure," Gary said. "And then again, there's the possibility that if he'd waited, you'd have figured it out on your own, and been ready for him. But he was only fifteen at the time, and very defiant, and defensive, and as good an idea as it seemed to be to tell you immediately... Well. Who knows?"

"You... you aren't relieved that your parents know?"

"No," Gary said softly. "I lost my father the day they found out. And I won't have my mother back until he dies and she's not afraid of looking like she's on my side, either."

"Oh, Gary, honey..."

"Well, I'm okay now. See, in college I met this boy who I liked, and now I have an almost absurd amount of in-laws to keep me busy." He paused. "So I don't know. You might need to cover your backside, and do what you have to. But if it was up to me, I'd leave it to the kid. He knows himself and his family."

"Hm. Thank you, Gary."

"No problem, Maria. Hey—hang on, I hear zombie noises from the other room. One second." What came next was muffled, but clear enough. "Hey, hot stuff! Your mom's on the phone, tell her you love her."

A pause, then a very sleepy, "Ma?"

"Hello, darling."

"Love you, Ma."

"You too, Mike. Go back to bed."

"Okay. 'Night, Ma."

Gary returned to the phone after that. "Goodnight, Maria. Good luck."

"Good luck with your papers, Gary. Goodnight."

She hung up the phone and thought.

*

Things were not going well.

"Look, Dad, this wasn't my—Dad... You know why I can't go back to Mom's it's... Damn it, Dad, it's only two weeks! I—Hang on a second, you don't pay for this camp, and... Dad, I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry! But I..."

Jack gave up and just listened to his father rant for a few minutes. And when his father seemed to be winding down, tried again. "I told you. I don't have a choice, it's not like this is my idea of fun either!"

More ranting, which eventually resolved into something like acquiescence. "Okay... Well, I'll be there tonight. I'm sorry. Bye."

He wasn't sure if he or his father slammed the phone first.

He buried his head in his hand for a second, then took a deep breath and sat up. They'd given him awhile alone, to get things settled. Now that his dad, despite being none too thrilled with the news, knew that he was coming, and he had a bus ticket (scheduled for that same day) all ready to go, all that was left was to resign.

That was one of their concessions. First, they had agreed to let David come out to his parents in his own time, but with the caveat that they wouldn't lie if asked any questions about it—so he'd better be honest. The second was this, that instead of being fired, Jack would be allowed to resign. It came down to the same thing, he was out of camp for the summer; but this way, it would save Jack's reputation when it came to his resume and future jobs. It wasn't much, but it was the best they could do for him—and more than he probably deserved.

All he had to do was sign the letter of resignation he'd spent half the morning writing. Then the whole stupid mess was done, and at least he'd done what he could to fix it. But he'd been assured by Denton and Mrs. Higgins that, since he was leaving, Oscar wouldn't have a leg to stand on if he sued; and again, since was leaving, there wouldn't be much the Jacobs family could do either, if things went badly. Demand their money back, get the camp investigated, sure—but their reasons for not alerting the family were all documented, and David had assured them the family would be fine, and all they could do was hope.

"Jack?" Mrs. Higgins's voice echoed down the stairwell. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah," Jack agreed. The part of his morning that hadn't been spent writing the letter and fighting with his father had been spent packing.

"It's time, then."

Jack took a deep breath, picked up the pen, and signed his name to the resignation letter. He stood, picked up his bus ticket, and started up the stairs. A small group was waiting: Mr. and Mrs. Higgins, Racetrack, David, and Sneakers. Sneakers looked a little baffled, and was holding a set of keys to one of the camp's vans in one hand.

There was a quick round of hugs. "Jack," Mrs. Higgins said firmly, "I hope you'll be joining us for Christmas, as usual."

"If... If you want me to."

"Well, assuming you don't have anyone else to visit," she answered.

"Race..." Jack mumbled, facing his best friend.

"Hey, at least you know my address by heart, right? You'd better write."

Jack nodded. "Thanks for everything, Race."

"That's what I'm here for... Just try and be less stupid from now on."

Jack cracked a ghost of a smile, and Race returned it, and they hugged hesitantly. "...But seriously, write to me."

"I will. Seriously." Jack nodded.

"Well, I guess I'm driving you," Sneakers said, "and maybe on the way, someone could explain to me what is actually going on."

"No, dear, I don't think so," Mrs. Higgins said. "It's not really any of your business."

"Great, then I'll just believe all the gossip and rumors, I guess."

Jack turned to David, who cut him off. "I'm going to the station with you. I got special permission and everything."

"Okay." Jack nodded, and reached for his duffel bag, which was lying on the floor. "We should go, then. And... tell everyone I say goodbye, okay?"

Everyone nodded, feeling too subdued to speak, and so they started off quickly. The ride to the station was agonizing and silent. Sneakers didn't know what was going on, but Jack and David sat together in the back, holding hands. There didn't seem much to say until they were perched in front of the small town's single-gate bus station.

Sneakers waited in the van, while Jack and David stood outside, waiting for the bus to roll up. It was only when it did that they realized there was still so much to say.

"Davey—"

"Jack—"

"Me first. I—I'm sorry about all of this mess and getting you involved, but I, I wouldn't trade being with you for anything, anything at all. David... Even with all this crap, I'm happier than I've been because of you. So... So whatever happens, don't forget about that. Don't forget about me, okay?"

"Forget about you?" David repeated. "How could I ever do that? Without you, I'd have been miserable all summer, and I wouldn't... I wouldn't have realized any of this stuff about myself. And instead of just realizing it, I got to be with you, and I... I'll see you in under two weeks. You'll come visit me first thing when I get home, right?"

"Nothing could keep me away."

The bus door swung open, and people began to stack luggage in the compartments below the bus. "I have to go, but Dave, I'll write to you every day."

"Me, too. I miss you already..."

"Same here. But it's... It's only a week and a half." And, because no one at the bus station cared much, Jack reached out to give David a last hug and a quick kiss. "And if you really care about me, you'll go to riding."

"That will never happen."

"It was worth a shot."

"Have a safe trip, Jack. I'll see you soon. I'll write you tonight."

Jack nodded and wanted to say more, or hug again, or avoid leaving for just a little longer—but everyone else had filed on to the bus, and he had no choice but to join them. David waited for the bus door to shut and the bus to take off before trudging back to the van, where he slid into the shotgun seat next to Sneakers.

"So, not to pry into your personal life or anything, but you and Jack...? And he got fired...?"

"Something like that," David mumbled.

"I'm sorry, Dave."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"...But you know what the worst part is?" Sneakers continued, ignoring David's comment.

"What?" David answered, staring out the window blankly. He felt drained, like he could just sleep for the next week and a half. He'd know saying goodbye to Jack would be hard, but he just wanted to curl up alone and block out the world.

"This means that Jack got me last. Aw, man," Sneakers said, and glanced over at David. He gave him a wan smile. "Things aren't so bad, Mouth. You've still got the rest of the guys, and the theater, and everything else. I know it's going to be awkward as word gets around, but you're going to be fine."

Somehow, David had a hard time believing that.

[End Chapter Thirty-Four]
Chapter Thirty-Five: Best Friends Forever