Gents & Dames
Six: Adelaide's Lament
Thomas stood up and shrugged out of the blue robe. He glanced over at Nathan and tried to catch his eye, but Nathan was still scowling at the room in general. With an over-dramatic sigh, Thomas crossed back to behind his changing screen and began to unlace the corset.
"It figures," Thomas said, then took a deep breath as the restriction around his rib cage loosened. "All these years of hating Jack, and the moment he walks in the door, you make a bet with him."
"Yeah, well," Nathan answered, his voice drifting back. "I need money, I don't need Jack."
"I see." Thomas reached for his shorts, though he didn't really enjoy wearing them. It hadn't taken working at the Hotbox for long before he'd grown used to women's clothes. "And why, exactly, do you need a thousand dollars?"
Half-dressed, he stepped back into the rest of the room, and fixed Nathan with as piercing a gaze as he could manage. Nathan squirmed. "None of your business," he finally answered.
"On the contrary." Thomas crossed his arms. "I know you owe me significantly more than a grand. And I know I overpay you for work Nick could do just as well - and he's much nicer to me."
Nathan glowered and Thomas stared back stonily. "You like Nick so much, why the hell ain't it him in here?"
"Because Nick won't have me. Pity, really, that he isn't queer. I'd run off with him in a heartbeat."
"So I'm what, second best? Third?"
"Nick isn't ashamed to be friends with me," Thomas answered sharply.
Nathan looked away, turned his head so he didn't even face Thomas. All he said was, "I need the cash for the game. The only place I been able to find to have the damn thing is Biltmore's garage - and he wants a grand first or no deal."
"I see." Thomas rolled his eye and leaned against a wall. "And the money you earn - actually, legitimately earn - is...?"
"I told you, ain't none of your business!"
Thomas sighed. "Honestly, I don't mind that you gamble, Nathan. I mind that you're so bad at it."
"Shut the hell up."
"Twenty grand, and you still think you're going to win it back. I don't pay you so much because you're such a good errand boy; I pay you so that you can pay me back someday." Thomas fixed him with that stare again. "They broke your arm."
"I'd have been fine."
"I doubt that."
"I'm gonna pay you back." Nathan finally looked at him again. "Thomas, I mean it. I will."
"Sure."
"Damn it, I..." He trailed off and stared at Thomas, who smiled for the first time. Nathan had practically done a double take, and Thomas enjoyed being noticed. At least until Nathan said, "Put some clothes on, Tom."
He made a noise he hoped would convey how offended he was, then turned on his heel and stalked back behind the screen. "It's not even that I want the money," he said. "All I want is my theater. I was supposed to buy this place almost two years ago. Do you know how long I'd been saving?"
"Six years," Nathan snapped back. "I know it, you won't let me forget it!"
"Six years," Thomas continued. "And when I finally have enough, I find you with a broken arm and a bloodied face and some thug tells me you owe his boss money which you not only don't have, you never had!"
"I know, I was there," Nathan yelled. "He cheated me, Thomas, he goddamn cheated!"
"So you've been saying for the last two years." Thomas began to pull clothing on angrily; trousers and his belt, then the shirt. He stomped out from behind the screen while he was still buttoning it. "But despite your ridiculously high salary, I haven't seen a dollar of it back."
"I—"
"You are never going to win it back. Not betting on horses, not playing poker, not at the crap game. Never."
Nathan scowled. "I said I'll pay you back."
Thomas let it sit in silence for a moment before throwing himself down on the chair he'd occupied earlier, then changed his mind, stood up, and stalked over to the mirror, picked up his wig and a comb, and began to fix the silky hair, facing towards the mirror and pointedly away from Nathan.
"So now what, you're ignoring me?" Nathan finally demanded. "Jesus, you're touchy."
"I am not touchy!" Thomas snapped.
Nathan snorted. "I was ready to have a good night for a change, after what you did to Jack. Instead, all you want to do is yell at me about that damn debt."
"I don't care about the debt." Thomas slammed down the comb and turned towards Nathan. "So help me, I honestly don't. I saved up the money once; I'll do it again."
"Sure," Nathan muttered. "And we both know how you earned it." His voice turned cold as he spoke.
Thomas clenched a fist. "I will not apologize to you for that. Hooking was damn good money."
"If you don't mind selling your dignity." Nathan gestured around. "Except, wait - you still do that, don't you, Miss Adelaide?"
"Get out." Thomas's voice lowered.
"Honestly, why do you even bother taking off the dress anymore?"
"I said get out."
"Thomas—"
"At least I don't lie about what I am!" He dropped the wig on the table in front of Nathan and leaned down so they were almost nose-to-nose. "It just kills you that you're as queer as me, doesn't it?"
"Thomas—"
"But unlike you, I'm not ashamed of what I am, or what I do. Or anything I've done."
"Maybe you should be." Nathan stood up. "What you are isn't normal!"
"What I am?" Thomas scoffed. "I'm not normal, then what the hell are you?"
"At least I have the common sense to not flaunt it." Nathan shook his head. "When was the last time you even went outside, Tom? You say you're not ashamed but you hide in this fucking ramshackle theater. Do you even remember what normal is?"
"I remember normal is having a lover who treats me well."
"Normal ain't having a lover! It's having a girl - an actual girl."
Thomas froze for a few moments, then finally said, "I already asked you to leave. If you detest me that much, why are you still here?"
Nathan actually looked a little surprised at that. "I - Thomas, you know I don't, I don't detest you. You're just..." He shrugged, but Thomas didn't warm. "I'm sorry," he finally said.
"You should be." Thomas's voice was still cold. "I've given you everything you asked for - a roof and three squares, when you needed them. A job. Understanding. Money. I won't be walked on in return."
Nathan winced, by the looking on his face realizing how far he'd dug himself in. That caused Thomas to give him a thin-lipped smile.
"No more," Thomas finally continued. "If you can't treat me decently, you'll get nothing else from me. No more time, or chances - sure as hell no more money."
Nathan nodded quickly.
"Do you even still love me?" Thomas asked.
Silence hung between them. Nathan stared at him, looking off-balance; his mouth opened, but no sound came out. And Thomas didn't know if he wanted to beg Nathan to answer, or to throw him out.
Finally he said, "I see."
"Thomas..." Nathan actually sounded upset.
"Perhaps it would be best if you do leave," Thomas answered.
"Of course I love you," Nathan said quickly, speaking too fast, as though it could make up for the silence. "I just - I didn't expect you to ask."
"I want to be alone."
"Please," Nathan murmured. "Please, don't. I want to spend the night. I know you want me to. Thomas, look at me."
Thomas tried to at least make it a glare, but he couldn't stop himself from softening when he saw the look Nathan was giving him. Open. Earnest. Like maybe he did care, he wasn't just trying to save his cushy job or keep Thomas around for his money.
"Tom, I'm sorry. I do love you. It just... It's hard, being what we are."
And that was the truth, as much as Thomas wanted to deny it. He sighed. "Never again, Nathan." He sank down into a chair. "Go make me a cup of coffee and I'll meet you upstairs soon. But this is your last chance."
Nathan nodded and let himself out of the dressing room without saying anything else. Thomas shut his eyes and sighed. Acting happy was so much easier than being happy.