Kalin's Story
"'Evening, Lady Serissa," Lisandra said politely.
"Hello..." Serissa said hesitantly. It was well past midnight and she was finally about to crawl into bed when the young Lady had knocked on her door.
"You all right? Have everything you need?" she asked. Serissa nodded. "Good." There was a pause. "I'm sorry my older brother is an idiot."
"What?"
Lis gave her a long-suffering look. "My drunken older brother," she sighed. Serissa laughed.
"He wasn't really drunk," she grinned.
"Yeah, he was," Lis argued. "Kieris isn't normally so..." she trailed off, looking for words to describe how her brother had so effectively ruined his own party. "Violent," she finally decided. "Actually, I don't think he's ever hit anyone before at all."
"He did a surprisingly good job, then," Serissa said.
"Father will be proud, once he gets done yelling," Lis grinned back. "So you aren't upset?"
"Not at Kieris, no," she sighed. Kieris has been a perfect gentleman towards her all evening—it was Talar Candis and his older brother Alath who hadn't been. The two of them, apparently bitter on their baby brother's behalf, had spent the night harassing Serissa in various ways after Kieris had forbade them to dance with her. A snide comment here, an insult there—it was enough to leave her fairly miserable.
It had built up all night, and eventually ended shortly after midnight when Talar, the eldest brother, had grabbed her wrist and refused to let go. He and Alath started to hint a ta few threats while she struggled quietly, hoping to get away without attracting much attention to herself.
She'd must have failed, because suddenly Kieris was there. He'd punched Talar squarely in the jaw and then everyone was paying attention. Things probably would have exploded into a real brawl if there hadn't been guardsmen around who worked for Kieris' family; the disruptive brothers had been told to leave and Kieris had stalked off.
"He meant well, Lady. Those two—well, they're just rotten. The whole family is. And they hate Kieris for some reason... Soran beat him up pretty badly when they were kids."
"Oh." No Serissa found herself at a loss for words.
"Well, I'll tell Kieris you aren't going to refuse to speak to him or anything," Lis said, then, "are you?"
"No," Serissa said. "No. He was... Very nice. To help me like that, I mean."
Lis nodded and excused herself, wondering just how smitten her brother had been and how much of it had been the alcohol.
[OPENING CREDITS]
Episode 10: Meeting in the Library
"Father—" Kieris tried for the third time.
"Not one word until I'm finished!" Lord Ilan Alayrin roared and continued on his tirade. It had been almost half an hour and he was getting repetitive; everything he was yelling boiled down to Kieris shouldn't have been drinking and he shouldn't have punched Talar.
"Father!" Kieris finally managed to catch his father's attention. "Look, I'm sorry I was drinking. It was the only way I was going to be able to get through the whole tedious thing. But Talar Candis deserved that!"
"For what, pray tell?"
"They were threatening Lady Serissa. Talar and Alath. They had been bothering her all night, I know because I was keeping an eye on h—on them. And they were threatening her and she was terrified, and what the Hell was I supposed to do? I'd been watching all night, breaking things off calmly when I had to, but they just wouldn't leave her alone! It. Was. The. Only. Way!"
"How am I going to explain this to Lord Candis?"
"I don't know, Father," Kieris sighed.
"Why tonight, Kieris? You were supposed to be trying to impress those ladies, not scare them."
"I know, Father. I'm sorry."
"So did you make a decision?"
Kieris hesitated, then gave an embarrassed shrug. "I... I think so." He didn't mention he'd sent his sister to do reconnaissance work while he was being lectured and that whatever she found out would make the final decision.
"Then at least something good came out of this.... Mess. Don't ever do it again."
"I won't, Father," Kieris promised, hearing the dismissal in his father's voice.
"Oh, Kieris? Congratulations—I'm glad Lady Serissa finally brought out the man in you."
Kieris opened his mouth to object, then stopped. If having punched an idiot made him more manly in his father's eyes, that was fine. Maybe now he could have some peace in the library.
Breakfast was a casual affair. A buffet was set out and guests sat with their friends at tables. Serissa was sitting at one of the tables, surrounded by people she didn't know at all, all of whom seemed to recognize her thanks to Kieris' exploits. She looked around and saw her father and Taylin talking to Lord Alayrin and then tried to find Kieris.
He wasn't there, but Lisandra appeared at her side. "'Morning," she greeted Serissa cheerfully.
"Hi," Riss said back.
"Kieris'll be here soon. He's... um... 'ill.'"
"What's the matter?"
Lisandra grinned, surprised Serissa was so genuinely concerned for her brother. "He's a bit hung over. He usually doesn't drink much and holds his alcohol when he does, or at least he seems to. Last night you'd really have to know him to have realized how incredibly drunk he was. He never staggers or falls over or anything. He just gets... Impulsive." She shrugged. "He's an idiot, anyway."
"Really? I got the impression he's actually quite intelligent."
"You aren't his sister."
"Spreading rumors about me, Lis?" Kieris appeared behind where the two girls were talking, clutching a large cup of water.
"No, if I was spreading rumors, I'd have told her about your seventeenth birthday party, when Grandmother tried to get you to—"
"Go away," he snapped. "Now."
"Don't wanna," she snapped back. "Serissa and I were having a nice conversation before you showed up, right, Lady?"
"Er..."
"Lisandra, I'm not in the mood to bicker."
"Someone has a hang over..." Lis sang, giggling.
"I do not. Go away." Kieris now sounded like every exasperated older brother Serissa had ever seen.
"Do so. I'm gonna tell Mother and then..."
"She can't yell at me for any longer than Father did," Kieris sighed. "Go away now."
"Fine," Lis pouted. "'Bye, Lady." She stuck her tongue out at Kieris and disappeared into the crowd. Her older brother sat down where she had been and took a long gulp of his drink.
"So," he said. "I wanted to apologize for last night. I'm sure you must have been embarassed—I never meant to upset you."
"It's fine, my Lord."
"Please, Lady, call me Kieris," he offered. "I just wanted you to know I feel badly. I swear, I'm not usually that hot-headed. But the way those two had been all night... It's just as well Soran has been stationed a few days away. I don't want to know what would have happened if he'd been there."
Serissa nodded, realizing how much worse things would have been. If Soran's two older brothers had been so rotten on his behalf, then had he been there himself... Not a pleasant thought.
"But he did deserve it," Kieris said, his voice taking on a stubborn note. "Lords should not treat Ladies that way."
"I... I'm glad you think so."
He winked at her and stood. "Well then. I'm glad it's been cleared up. I'm supposed to be socializing, so if you'll excuse me..." As Kieris turned to leave, he dropped a folded piece of paper in her lap and then walked off.
She glanced around, but most of the people were watching Kieris, not her, so she carefully unfolded the note. In painstakingly neat handwriting it read 'Meet me in the library at nine. Much to discuss.'
Riss read it again to make sure she wasn't mistaken, then stared off after Kieris, but he had disappeared into a crowd of admirers.
[EYECATCH]
Serissa was sitting nervously in one of the library's wooden chairs. She'd picked out a book to explain her presence, and although she'd skimmed a few pages wasn't able to concentrate. Kieris' letter had confused her thoroughly.
She heard the whisper of the door opening, and Kieris slipped inside quietly. He glanced around as if paranoid, then sat down across from her. "Good book?" he asked, sounding anxious.
"Um..." She paused. "I wasn't really reading, I was..."
"Oh, fine." He glanced over at the upside-down text and spent a second figuring it out. It was a book he'd read about a month before, and he nodded approvingly. "You should. It's a good history, if you like histories."
"I... I've never really read one."
"Ah." He paused. "So. Um... I wanted to meet you here to... ask you about some things..." He sounded more nervous now and took a deep breath. "You probably know I'm supposed to be figuring out who I want to marry." She nodded. "I... That is... You seem to be very nice. Um." He drummed his finger on the table, then continued, "I don't really know you very well and you probably think I'm some sort of violent drunk, since Sundancer only knows what Lis was telling you, but I promise I'm not, last night was just—" He cut off and took another breath.
"Sorry," he apologized. "I'm not really good at this."
It seemed to be her turn to say something, but she was at a loss for words and still confused. Kieris seemed to be asking her to... No, that couldn't possibly be right. Instead of speaking, she nodded again.
"What I meant to say before I sidetracked myself was that even though we don't really know each other, you really do seem very sweet, and I am, even if you don't believe me and I don't blame you if you don't. Sorry. Run on sentence..."
"What?"
"Nothing!" He paused for another minute to collect his thoughts. "Let me try this again. What I was wondering was... If I were, purely hypothetically, to ask you to marry me, what would you say? Hypothetically, I mean."
She stared in shock and he winced.
There was a long silence.
"I'm sorry," he said finally. "Never mind. Pretend I never... I'll go. I won't bother you any more." He started to stand.
"No!" she said, then, "I mean, don't leave. I just... I'm surprised."
"Oh." He sat back down sharply.
"It's just, I..." She across the table at him and into his eyes. They fixed on her, too, and there was another long, very intense silence. She felt something in Kieris' eyes that seemed... She didn't really know what. Sort of nice and sort of calm but above all safe.
"What you did last night... It was nice of you, but... why? I mean, would you have for someone else?" she whispered.
"I don't know," he answered in the same hushed tone. "I... I think I'd have done something, but I don't know what. Probably... Probably not that."
"Oh." She contemplated this and watched Kieris' nervous gaze watch her. "I... I should say yes." "Really?" His eyes lit up behind his glasses.
She nodded slowly. "My father would like it. Lord Taylin would like it..."
"...But?" he finished for her, his face falling. "What about you, Serissa? Would you like it... Like me?" He'd given up pretending it was hypothetical; he hadn't fooled her anyway and at this point there wasn't going to be any way to save face if... when, apparently... she said no.
"I don't know," she said. "I... I do like you a lot, Kieris. No one has ever done anything like that for me before." She paused, then corrected, "almost no one. Sort of. I... He... It wasn't like that, but..."
She felt herself go all teary but didn't know why. Kalin wouldn't ever want me crying like this, she told herself firmly, but thinking of Kalin didn't help. She wished she could explain, that she could tell Kieris about Kalin and explain that even though he was nice and she did like him and her father would love it, that she was already in love... But the words froze in her throat and the tears began to fall.
"Serissa?" Kieris asked, concerned. "Serissa, what's the matter?"
She shook her head, unable to answer, unable to stop the sudden tears, inhaling sharply between sobs. Kieris sprang to his feet and within a moment was crouching next to her chair, with a protective arm around her and gripping her hand in his.
"Kieris..." she managed through strangled sobs. "I... I... I love him."
"Oh." Kieris tried to hide the hurt in his voice and remember that he barely knew Serissa, but he'd really felt something. He'd thought. Not that it mattered. He shoved his own emotions aside and gave Serissa's hand a slight squeeze; she was more important at the moment. He never wanted to make a Lady cry... "I'm glad," he managed to lie. "A Lady like you deserves love."
She didn't stop crying but began to take in deeper breaths and the sobs quieted to just tears. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm so sorry, I never—I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
She probably would have kept repeating it, but stopped mumbling when he reached over and brushed a few strands of damp hair out of her face. "Shh, there now, you don't have to apologize. It's fine, it's fine..."
He kept repeating it until she finally stopped crying, and then provided her with a clean handkerchief to dry her face. "I'm really sorry," she said again, but now her voice was barely shaking and she seemed more stable. "I don't know why that just... happened. But it wasn't you, I swear to Ocando. You... You've been very nice."
He nodded once, standing. "You probably needed to get that out, I suppose," he said, shrugging it off. "Though it leaves one wondering why it was all stored up..."
He was appalled to realize he'd said that aloud. It wasn't that he hadn't meant to, as he had been wondering, but he had planned to ask more tactfully. Damn, he cursed mentally. I'm an idiot, a blunt idiot. I doubt she'd even want to tell me, it's none of my—
"Probably too many reasons to even explain."
He stared down at her, surprised. Her voice had grown stronger again, much more confident than he'd ever heard her, and the fact that she'd answered him... He pulled over one of the other chairs and sat, next to her this time.
"That doesn't sound good, Lady Serissa."
"Riss," she told him.
"Riss," he repeated obediently. "If you..." Kieris hesitated. "If you want to talk about any of those many reasons, I can listen. You can trust me."
"I wouldn't want to bore you."
"You wouldn't," he promised. "Trust me, if I can not only read but enjoy that history—" he rapped a fist against the book she'd left on the table, "—then nothing you can possibly say will bore me."
She smiled, very slightly. "I wouldn't know where to begin."
"You could start with explaining why you were engaged to Soran Candis instead of this mystery gentleman you love," he suggested.
"How... How did you...?"
"When she isn't spreading rumors about me, my youngest sister can be amazingly helpful. And since I doubt Soran Candis ever did anything nice for you, he couldn't be your mystery gentleman."
Somehow, Serissa thought Kalin would enjoy being called a "mystery gentleman." But for all Kieris knew, he was a Gentleman; a landed noble.
"I see," she sighed. "Well..." Now it was her turn to look around in paranoia. "He isn't much of a gentleman, but he is awfully sweet... His name is... Well, he says its Kalin."
"What does everyone else say it is?" Kieris asked lightly, trying to put her more at ease.
"They say he doesn't have one," she answered bitterly.
"Ah," Kieris nodded, then realized what she'd just told him. "Oh."
"Which answers your question about why the two of us aren't engaged."
"Yeah. It does indeed." Kieris was doing his best not to gape or act as shocked as he felt, though it wasn't easy. He'd wondered if maybe she'd fallen for a peasant, but a slave? "So..." he said after a long moment. "If you don't mind my asking, er, why? Not that it's any of my business if you don't want to—"
"He was... He was kind to me." She said it softly but strongly. "I was a helpless, stupid, useless girl but he was nice to me anyway. And he helped me, he helped me change, he helped me see everything so much differently... He was nice to me and he never even asked for anything in return, and then I loved him and he loved me...."
She trailed off.
Kieris nodded. "I see."
"I wish I could explain it, explain him better, but... Sometimes, I barely understand him myself."
"You don't have to," Kieris sighed. "Falling in love with a slave. No wonder you were crying."
He didn't even have time to begin berating himself for his bluntness before she continued, "That's not even it."
"Sundancer bless, Riss. Please, tell me more. If you want to, I mean, of course."
She started to speak and then stopped. "You... You have to swear you won't tell anyone. I trust you, I really do, but you have to swear."
"I swear it to Ocando. Not a word to anyone," he agreed immediately, wondering what the full story could be if falling in love with a slave was only part.
So she told him. Serissa didn't really know why she was telling him except that it felt right and she felt safe with him there. And letting it all out, speaking words she'd longed to tell the world but had been forced to hold silent, felt good. She began at the very start, from the first time Kalin had saved her and didn't so much as hesitate until she got to the night of the rape.
She began to trail off, wondering if she really ought to tell him, remembering his reaction to Soran's older brothers... But Kieris had sworn, and she trusted him, and she felt safer than she ever had outside of Kalin's arms, so she told him.
He had been carefully schooling his expression through the whole story, sometimes nodding or answering to show he was paying attention, but he lost some of his control there. His eyes narrowed angrily and he clenched a fist, but said nothing except, "Go on," in a steely tone.
She did as he asked, and explained about Kalin's hand and how her father wanted to kill him; about making Kalin promise to escape; about Taylin saving her but needing to placate her father with a better engagement.
"I see," Kieris said when she was finally done. He caught her up in an impulsive, protective hug and held her for a brief moment, then settled back in his chair. "You've been treated very badly, Serissa. I wish I could change that."
"I wish you could, too."
"But maybe I can help from here on." He paused, then began to speak in the quick tones he'd started with when he first entered the room. "Marry me, Serissa—I would never ask you to do more than say vows, never ask you to love me in a way you didn't want to, never, but if you marry me I can protect you, from your father, from Soran Candis, from anyone who would ever try to hurt you.
"I like you, Serissa, a lot. And I'm a gentleman and I'd never hurt you, I want to keep you safe. Please. Consider it."
She stared at him for a moment, shocked, then, "All right."
"What?"
"All right. Yes... Kieris, I... Are you sure? Because I love Kalin and if you ever meet someone I wouldn't want to keep you from her, and I don't want you to marry me because you pity me, and—"
"Serissa, I'm sure. I was going to ask you to marry me anyway, remember?" He grinned.
"I... Well... Then yes. As long as you understand how I feel about you, and Kalin..."
"I do." He sighed slightly, then made himself perk up. "Your Kalin sounds like an amazing man. I'd like to meet him."