Kalin's Story
Elthis reached for the flask of brandy he kept in a desk drawer and took a long drink. He was tired and annoyed; it had been a long few days. There had been an attack by the Knights on a city near his manor and he'd gone to fight, of course. It earned him two new battlescars.
The Knights had managed to start a fire, and the flames had consumed his favorite inn... And worse, the fire had spread out into the surrounding area before it had gotten under control. He'd lost some of his crops and would have to bring in a bigger harvest than he'd expected.
He'd retreated in to his office after finally returning home and making arrangements to deal with the crop loss. Here, he could finally unwind with a drink and time alone. After every battle he'd ever fought, Elthis had found he needed a few hours by himself to calm down.
There was a knock on his office door, shattering the quiet. "If this isn't important, you're a dead man," he declared to the door, as it swung open.
"A-apologies, my Lord." The overseer made his way inside, clearly uncomfortable about disturbing Elthis. He shifted his weight nervously.
"Well?" Elthis demanded of his underling.
"You asked to be told when... When I thought that... That that slave's spirit had broken," he said. "He's been... Well, he's been a perfect slave for almost a week now..." "Perfect how?"
"He... You see, my Lord, he hasn't done anything wrong. The slave hasn't said a word, stepped out of line, anything. I've been watching him hard, my Lord, and it's been going on too long to be some sort of act. He'sS He's been broken. My Lord."
"Are you certain?" Elthis asked, after taking another drink.
"I think so, my Lord."
"Good." Elthis smiled unpleasantly. Things were looking up.
[OPENING CREDITS]
Episode 5: The Battle of a Shattered Spirit
Kalin stood in front of Hirith, forcing himself to look as defeated as possible. He stooped over a bit and stared at Hirith's feet, and flinched under his gaze. "Well, boy, I've heard about your... recent performance," Hirith said after studying the slave for a minute. "His Lordship is quite pleased with your progress."
Kalin didn't give anything more than a shrug and unintelligible mumble for an answer. "His Lordship is hosting a feast and has decided that you will be with the serving staff... A reward for your good behavior, I'm sure." Kalin mumbled again.
"You'll be provided with... More appropriate attire, of course," Hirith added, looking Kalin over again. "And probably a hair cut." Kalin began his mumble, but Hirith ignored it and demanded, "Well, boy? Aren't you pleased with His Lordship's generosity?"
"I-Well-" Kalin started, then gave up. "Very pleased, Sir. Thrilled."
"I knew you would be. Dismissed," Hirith declared. Kalin bowed and walked out of the room, wondering what Elthis was up to and if he should continue his ruse. It's easier, he reasoned to himself, and painless. But... All I can think about is my mother, the Goddess...Is it right? Is it wrong?
It's working for now. I suppose that's all that matters.
He sighed and looked up to see where he was walking, and froze in his tracks. Making their way towards him was Serissa and Soran, talking in hushed voices. He bit his lip, kept his gaze on the floor and started walking again. Damnit, he cursed mentally. I'm doing this to get back at her, and at the same time can't do it to get to him. And what're they doing together, anyway?
Kalin refused to look up when he heard Serissa giggle at whatever the young Warrior had just said, but he could feel the moment she noticed him. He could feel her gaze, and it seemed like the temperature in the room dropped several degrees. However, she didn't acknowledge him and they continued to walk towards each other-
And Soran Candis strode directly into him. Kalin stumbled backwards, knowing what had happened, what was about to happen, and braced himself. Soran caught his balance then grabbed Kalin by the shirt and shoved him against the wall. "You should learn to watch where you're going, boy," he hissed.
Kalin opened his mouth to reply, then saw Serissa watching him... with a look of concern on her face? No, Kalin told himself, that can't be right. Why would she even care...
And suddenly the urge to fight was gone. "'M very sorry, m'Lord," he said instead. There was a beat's pause, and Soran gave him a look of disgust before dropping him and offering his hand to Serissa.
She looked directly at Kalin, her gaze spiteful, and took his hand. They walked off together, and Kalin just stood against the wall, wondering why he was so tired all of a sudden.
He stood in front of the mirror, gawking at his reflection. Sure, Kalin had seen himself before, but he'd never paid attention to how he looked—and this didn't look like him at all, he thought. His usual stained, ripped muslin shirt was replaced with a new, cotton one, he'd been given a pair of men's hoes to replace his hand-me-down, cut-off pants. For the first time since he had been taken, he wore shoes, and his hair had been trimmed and pulled back into a pony-tail.
The few scars left visible made him look dignified, he decided, rugged. No matter how much dignity he'd lost—it didn't matter to him. "I can't take the pain any more," he whispered to his reflection. Elthis would win the bet. He didn't care. All that mattered to him was that the pain stopped, and that it wouldn't come back. If that meant sacrificing his pride... So be it.
True, he felt empty, and depressed. Every night since his fight with Serissa, he'd had dreams about his family, but their ghosts vanished as he woke. He'd realized there was no purpose in the vow he'd made as a child. He was an adult now, and now he'd finally start to look out for himself. He might be depressed, but it was better than in pain.
"I honestly never thought I'd see the bet won," a voice behind him commented. Taylin's reflection appeared behind Kalin's in the mirror. "But Elthis has always had a way with slaves I never had. He says I'm too gentle, but I guess you'd be the best judge of that."
Kalin turned to face him, and he kept his gaze on his shoes as Taylin studied him. "What...?" he heard Taylin say and looked up to figure out what Taylin was questioning. He couldn't see what would confuse the Warrior.
"Uh... My Lord?" Kalin asked after a moment.
"Nothing." There was a strange look on his face. "Never mind." He turned and left Kalin to wonder what had happened. There was still half an hour before the feast Elthis had planned. Elthis had an announcement, according to the invitation he'd sent Taylin. (There had been another note about their bet, but that was just good timing.)
Why does that boy look so familiar dressed like that? Taylin wondered to himself as he headed towards the small church that was attached to the manor house. He'd never noticed anything about the way Kalin looked before, but he'd never really bothered to pay attention to any slave's appearance. But seeing Kalin dressed up...
He knelt in front of the Sign of the Sun. Something was definitely pulling on his memory, but he had no idea what or why. However, it wasn't hard to block the feeling out as he immersed himself in prayer.
Kalin stood in the shadows, with the Shadows—slaves whose main function was as a concubine. Most of them had been serving their masters since childhood; Taylin and Elthis had both had Shadow slaves until they were married. Soran Candis would have except his family couldn't afford them for anyone but his older brother. It was a tradition in Noble families, one which Kalin found thoroughly disgusting but couldn't find a way to fight.
Elthis sat at the head of the table, with Serissa on the other end. Guests sat up the sides; Kalin recognized most of them as Warriors and Ladies. Taylin sat in the seat to the right of Elthis; Soran Candis was sitting to the right of Serissa.
A servant came in and directed Kalin to get a fancy pitcher full of wine and offer it to Elthis. He did as instructed, and approached Elthis while carefully watching his steps. He knelt and held up the tray the wine was on, and Elthis smiled nastily.
"Taylin," he said, loudly enough for the table to catch its importance and to stop talking and listen. "I seem to recall a bet we made nearly two months ago. A bet involving a slave..."
Taylin sighed. "I remember," he acknowledged.
"Tell me... Is this the slave you bet on?"
"Yes, Elthis," Taylin answered indulgently.
"And do you see any... ahem... changes in this boy?"
Taylin sighed and nodded.
"One might note," Elthis said, somewhat over-dramatically, "that this is a model slave. Obedient-" Kalin closed his eyes, wishing he didn't have to hear this, "quiet, hard-working. Taylin, this is the proof that I won the bet—the rebel you handed me has become an angel."
Taylin nodded again.
"So you concede I won the bet?" Elthis goaded.
"Perhaps," Taylin agreed. "Though honestly, all I've seen the boy do is stand, and he did that plenty in my household."
"Fair enough. Boy, pour our wine," Elthis commanded. Kalin gritted his teeth, trying to avoid doing something he'd regret. He stood, set the tray on the table and took up the pitcher as the table watched him expectantly. He glanced down towards Serissa, who gave him a cold look. Goddess, someone should strangle her. I've given up everything that I've ever cared about, and it's her fault. He felt himself grow a little angry, as he paused to look at the rest of the guests.
Taylin seemed disappointed. Sorry to spoil your bet, Kalin thought bitterly - where Soran Candis was downright gleeful. Bastard. Even if I have given up, I'll always hate him. Anger Hatred. Something began to fill the emptiness that was left when Kalin had stopped being a rebel.
Of the people in the room, only Elthis looked calm and full of the smug superiority that Kalin hated. He could feel the hatred welling up inside of him as he poured Taylin's wine and then turned to really watch Elthis. He saw the smirk on the Warrior's face, felt all of his anger—the humiliation he'd suffered over a life time, his feelings for Serissa, the look on Elthis' face, all of it—and before he knew what he was doing, he was tipping the pitcher forward—not into the glass but over the table—then flinging the contents outright at the Warrior—
He did his best to look innocent as he dropped the pitcher and watched it shatter. "Oops," he said flatly. Elthis stood and wine dripped from his shirt.
"You-" he hissed, outraged beyond belief. "I'm going to kill you!"
"Go ahead." Kalin shrugged. "What have I got to live for, anyway?"
Elthis balled a hand and Kalin tensed, waiting for the blow. It came, and he found himself sprawled over the table, in a pool of wine. He could already tell how much trouble he'd be in, having humiliated Elthis in his moment of triumph, but found he didn't care. The rage he felt seemed to be protecting him from the pain, and the rage was satisfying, where the humiliation of actually obeying orders was just depressing.
He finally knew why it was worth it, and began to laugh hysterically as the Warrior beat him at the table. It was a crazed laugh and it sent shivers down Serissa's spine. Why did he have to do that? she found herself thinking. He's such an idiot - Father will kill him for this. Sundancer protect him, he must not deserve to die just for standing up for himself- she bit her lip as she realized it was sympathy she was feeling. Not anger at all. Kalin was hurt and it hurt her to watch, so she didn't. She closed her eyes and turned away, but it couldn't block out Kalin's insane laughter or the sound of the blows.
She knew it was over when the laughter stopped. She got up her courage and looked, and saw Kalin lying on the floor, unconscious and very bloody. Elthis snarled an order to a few servants, who dragged Kalin from the room to be dealt with later.
Now it was her turn to observe the guests. Taylin looked... She couldn't quite place it. Sad, maybe? Wistful? It was a strange expression to see him with, given that this meant the bet was still on. She looked to Soran, who was grinning like a madman, relishing the blood. A chill ran down her spine, the Warrior to her right found the whole thing amusing. Sundancer, what a maniac. He'd have enjoyed being to one punishing Kalin, just because he likes causing pain. He honestly enjoys it! I don't understand him at all...
And finally, she saw her father. In the past few moments, he'd gone from a look of outright rage, to one of forced calm. He held out his hand and one of the Shadows immediately provided him with a napkin; he wiped the sticky mixture of blood and wine off himself and then sat.
"I'm terribly sorry you all had to witness that," Elthis said, his voice quiet and cold. "I assure you, that will never happen again. That slave's punishment has only just begun-" his voice got louder as his practically snarled the word "begun," but he forced it back to calm.
"However, that was certainly not the reason I asked you all here this evening."
Could have fooled me, Serissa thought. You'd honestly believed you'd broken his spirit, didn't you, Father? It just goes to show - he's a lot smarter than you think, and clearly much stronger. She remembered Kalin's crazed laughter and shuddered a little bit. And probably just as insane.
"And hopefully, the announcement I am making will be... Joyous... Enough for you all to forgive that... Unpleasantness," Elthis continued, pausing several times to find appropriate words. He stood again and smiled, and although it wasn't the malicious smile he gave Kalin, it worried Serissa anyway. "I'm absolutely thrilled to announce the betrothal of my daughter, Lady Serissa Aleann..."
There was a tense moment of silence while Serissa didn't respond. "...To a good friend and fellow warrior, Sir Soran Candis."
Soran, who'd apparently known about this in advance, smiled cheerily and turned towards Serissa. "Nothing would bring me more honor or joy," he said.
Serissa still hadn't reacted. She sat silently, her face pale and her eyes wide, her expression showing only shock.
Soran gave a false laugh. "Speechless, my dear?"
"IS" she stared at him and then her father in terror, stood, and ran from the room.
[EYECATCH]
The first thing Kalin felt when he woke up was deep pain. He wanted to wince away from it but couldn't, it was all coming from inside himˆúthen came the overwhelming scent of mint healing lotion, and the feeling of it sliding over his back, and the pain dulling ever so slightly.
His head swum and Kalin was afraid to open his eyes. The light would hurt his head-everything and anything would hurt his head at this point. What happened? he asked himself, then remember. Hell. This hurts- Then he realized someone was spreading the ointment over his back, and he finally opened his eyes, squinting to minimize the light. "Who...?" he asked and the sound of his voice echoed in to his head. He wished he hadn't spoken, and even more that he wouldn't get a response.
No such luck. "It's me, Kalin," came Serissa's voice. "I'm trying to help but-I think everything they did to you is a bit too much for any lotion. I'm pretty sure you have a concussion, and-"
"Could you not talk?" he snapped. "My head hurts, and last I knew, we weren't speaking to each other anyway."
She sighed and continued to massage his back. "Kalin, I-" she started after a moment.
"If this doesn't involve the words 'I'm sorry,' you can go to hell," he snarled.
"I am sorry and you'd know that if you'd shut up so I could apologize!" she shot back. After a brief pause, she added, "What I mean is, everything I heard you say - I think I understand now, but at the time, I didn't. I wasn't thinking and I-well, it hurt. Everything you said. I love you so much and I felt so betrayed... Of course I was mad.
"I should have let you explain, obviously, but I was too mad to think straight," she concluded. "So I'm sorry."
"Good." There was a long pause.
"And you..?" she asked.
"What?"
"I admitted I was wrong, but that- ahem- lover's spat wasn't entirely my fault, Kalin," she explained.
"Oh." There was another pause. "I'm sorry too, then. Everything I said-obviously it wasn't true. But I never meant to hurt you." He could sense her smile.
"Can we kiss and make up?" she asked playfully.
"We could if I didn't hurt so damn much," he answered. "But your father wasn't in a very good mood last night after dinner, and he took it out on me. He yelled something about you, too-" Kalin tried to remember through the haze of pain. "I get the feeling I wasn't the only one who made him mad last night."
"I... oh." She stopped massaging and bit her lip. "He-he made a decision I wasn't happy with, and I-Sundancer above, he betrothed me to-" She started to cry, but wiped away the tears and took a deep breath.
"Don't leave me in suspense, love. Who gets to be with you while I watch jealously?"
"Soran Candis," she answered after a pause.
The silence was long and tense, and finally Kalin said, "Goddess. Fucking. Damnit!"
"I know, I-he scares me, Kalin. He scares me so much..." She shuddered. "Last night, I watched him when my father was beating you... He thought it was funny, he-I'd rather die than marry him."
"Why him, though?" Kalin asked. "Why him-why now? Goddess this-this hurts worse than last night, if your father was looking for a way to get to me, he found it, and-You don't suppose that's why, do you?"
"I have no idea." Serissa thought about it. "I doubt it's the reason, but it was probably an added plus. The actual reason-Father wanted a son, I've always known that. Someone to carry on the family tradition; someone who could grow up and be just like him. And I guess the closest he could find was Soran, and..."
"Well, they're both f-" Kalin bit it off, not wanting to offend Serissa by describing her family lineage. "They do have a lot in common. Help me sit up?"
Serissa did as he asked. Kalin rolled over and then she helped pull him in to a sitting position. In the process they found out his fractured arm had been broken, several of his ribs were cracked, and that moving made him dizzy. "Damn," he sighed. "Well, no rest for the wicked, I guess. At least now I've got something to look forward to."
"What's that?"
"The look on the overseer's face when I refuse to obey a single order."
"What, the look of satisfaction when he kills you?"
"Feeling the way I do, I think death would be merciful," Kalin answered. "I certainly can't hurt any worse."
"Kalin..." Serissa said, then sighed.
"What?"
"Nothing. Nevermind."
"What?" he asked again. "You can tell me, Riss, anything. You know that-I hope."
"I do, it's just..." she looked away from him and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I sometimes wish you weren't such a rebel. Every time Father, or Soran, or the overseer-anyone-punishes you, you take longer to recover, and you get yourself in trouble again even faster. I worry about you... Last night, Father was so close to killing you... I think I'd die if anything happened to you."
"That would be a stupid reason to die, love," Kalin said, then, "Riss, you father isn't going to kill me. He's still working on that bet, and if I die, he looses. So no matter what, I'll survive. Your father is too stubborn to kill me."
"To kill you on purpose," she argued. "But accidentally-if you're in worse shape than he thinks and he pushes a little too far-Please, Kalin, I'm begging you. Until you're healed, at least, please try not to get yourself hurt. Please."
"Serissa, you know I can't-" He sighed, changing his mind. "Well, what the Hell? I guess if I could endure being obedient last week because I was mad at you, I can do it for awhile longer because I love you. But you owe me, girlie. And I intend to make you pay up..." He grinned at her.
"Pay up how?" she asked, feigning innocence.
"I'm sure I'll be able to come up with something creative..." he said, mimicking the voice Elthis always used when trying to come up with a new punishment. "But if it means that much to you, I can do this... You're the only reason I have to live, so my life is yours to command."
"Kalin, you don't take commands from anyone and I know it," she sighed. "You're doing this as a favor, nothing more."
"As the Lady commands."
"Kalin!"
"What? I'm practicing-you can't expect me to be all Loyal if I haven't practiced..."
She laughed, and he laughed in response, and for just a minute, the two of them were happy and the pain was gone.
Taylin's eyes opened and he sat up frantically, drenched in sweat. "A dream..." he murmured. "A nightmare... But... What was it?"
He reached for the glass of water he had at his bedside and took a long drink, trying to remember. All that remained clearly was a face, a beautiful face framed by dark hair, with a scar running up the left side. A slave? Taylin wondered, then realized that there was white in the hair, making her a Knight. Which would probably explain the scar. But... Why am I dreaming of her? Why am I so afraid? Who is she?
No answers came to mind, and Taylin glanced at his window. Judging from the pale light that drifted in under the curtain, it was around dawn. He slumped back down let the smooth silk of his pillow cases soothe him. For a moment, he craved his wife, Analla. She'd always been able to get him back to sleep when he woke with a nightmare, she'd hug him or kiss him and tell him everything was all right. He'd fall asleep with her in his arms, and everything would feel safe...
But the face in his dreams wouldn't let him think of his late wife. He'd seen it in his dreams many times before, he knew it was someone from the time he'd spent as a prisoner on Kalatsu-where else would he know a Knight from? But he couldn't remember anything else about her.
I don't even remember her name... Just the face, the scar...
He closed his eyes and shivered, despite the warmth in the room. I haven't had a nightmare in so long... Not since my Analla died... Why now? What could have brought this on?
And then he knew. He couldn't remember who the Knight was or why he would dream of her, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he'd had the dream because of Kalin. He'd started to remember something, seeing the slave dressed up. He had no idea what, but he was dead certain that it had to do with the woman in his dreams. Confused and suddenly exhausted, Taylin fell back asleep.