The Emperor's New Groove
J : I wanna be a llama!
F : Jasper, you can't be a llama.
J : Why not??
F : Because... I'm not going to have this argument with you.
J : But I wanna!!
C : Felix, if J wants to be a llama, let him be a llama. That way he'll stop whining.
J : Yay!... I mean, I am not whining!!
F : How about, we agree that even though you can't be a llama, which is no one's fault, not even the Roman's, you have the right to be a llama?
C : How very Monty Python of you, Felix.
J : Well, then, can I be a kitten? Even an evil kitten? It was so cuuuuute!!
F : No, you can. Not. Be. A. Kitten.
J : But... But I'd be all cute! And cuddly! Everyone would pet me!!
F : ....
C : ....
E : ....
J : What?
F : I am not even getting in to this.
J : What???
F : So, ignoring him, what did everyone else think of the film?
C : Not film. 'Animated Classic.' Only substitute 'on acid' for 'classic'. Dude, they broke the fourth wall more times than I do!
F : Nuh uh.
C : I was counting. What was up with that?? The movie had no fourth wall!
E : But it did have an evil genius... With a chemistry kit... I wonder if you can get extract of llama on eBay.
J : I hope so.
E : Jasper, be quiet.
F : Well, I thought it was cool. No dance numbers. No weird out of place singing. No spirited Princesses. And the llama said "bring it on." That was awesome.
C : He said "boo ya."
F : No one says "boo ya."
C : The llama said "boo ya!"
F : Crack whore.
C : Who?
F : You. And the llama.
J : Can I have a kitten?
F : No.
J : Why not??
F : Kittens need more to eat than coffee, Jasper.
J : Oh.
C : I liked the angels. They were funny. They were so not part of the fourth wall. And the llama stopped the movie to talk about the movie! That was so meta! I wanna do that!!
F : Cal, you do that. All the time.
C : Oh. Right.
J : Do they need a lot more to eat?
F : Yes, Jasper. You have to feed them cat food every day. And change their litter.
J : Ewwww.
E : Well, her henchman was cool too. I want a henchman...
C : Good god no.
J : Can I have a llama??
F : NO!
C : That scene with the maps? When they saw where they were walking? And then the henchman was all like "well, there's no reasonable explanation for us being here first?" That was awesome!!!
F : Cal, I think you should maybe take a deep breath.
C : It was cool!!
F : Yes, Cal. Ummm... It should worry you that you're starting to sound like Jasper."
J : I didn't say anything like that!! I said I wanted a kitten! Or to be a kitten. Or a llama. Because that llama was cool. And the kitten was cute. I can be cute, but I've never been a llama. But I want to be a llama. And a kitten! Then I'd be so cute! I'd be the cutest thing ever! And I'd be a cute fuzzy pink kitten!!
E : Pink....?
F : Don't. Ask.
E : Right.
F : Jasper.... You do realize that if you were a fuzzy, cute pink kitten Lisa would never, never ever ever leave you alone, right?
J : Oh. That's... That's a very good point. Do you think she'd want to hug a llama?
E : I bet I could make extract of llama in my room!
C : No! Dude, last time you did something like that I smelled like au gratin potatos for a month.
E : That's not my fault.
C : I refuse to smell like a llama.
J : Llamas smell?
F : Yes.
J : Oh. Kittens don't smell!
F : You remember that scene where the mild mannered, patient beyond all reason, almost saintlike peasant got fed up and punched the llama in the nose?
J : Yes...
F : You and I are going to act that out in a second if you don't shut up.
J : ....Am I the llama or the peasant?
F: AAAAAUGH!
C : Eric, help me grab Felix's arms before he kills J...
E : Jasper, don't hide behind me. I want to hit you too.
C : Don't look at me. I may be a pacifist, but one more "I wanna be a kiiiiiiiiiiitteeeeennnnnnnn'" whine and I'll deck you myself.
J : But I do wanna..... ack! Help! Hippie attack!
F : Wow... Who knew Cal hit so hard?
J : Owww! Owwwwww! Three on one's no fair!! I- Mphh!! Mphh mmmffffffpffff!
F : Good. You sit on him.
C : I'm so inspired by this film. So, if you're reading this right now, go out and see The Emperor's New Groove! It's fabulous; bizarre, but great. If you enjoy breaking the fourth wall (and you obviously do if you're reading this, which by default you must be) you'll love it.
Four thumbs up; we all loved it. Umm... ok, techinically it's three thumbs up, but that's only because Eric's strangling Jasper, and he can't put a thumb up.
F : Ok, get off J. He's turning blue.
E : Better blue than pink.
C : So go see the film... but don't take Jasper.
J : Bet if I was a kitten you'd be nicer to me-- Owww!