There was an annoying noise somewhere near Jasper's ear. "Whaaaa?" he mumbled, rolling over and pulling a pillow over his head to block it out. The buzzing got louder and harder to ignore.
"Jasper..."
"Whaaaa?"
"Turn off the damn alarm clock," Felix said grumpily.
"Oh..." Jasper answered sheepishly. He hit the 'off,' button, rolled over and dozed off for about half an hour, before sitting upright and yelling, "Rehearsal! Late! Madame Blanche will—Rock—death! No coffee!"
"Jasper..."
"What?! I can't—there's no time—I'm late!"
"Jasper, can't you freak out quietly?" Felix grumped, rolling over.
"But I'm—without coffee—no coffee!"
"Jasper. Seriously..." Felix mumbled in to his pillow. He half-heard Jasper's mad dash out the door, and resumed snoring again several seconds later. There were a few advantages to getting rotten ensemble parts in the musical, and one was that he didn't need to go to rehearsals early on Saturday mornings.
*
"What's she doing here?" Eric demanded of Jasper, giving his little sister an evil look. The lads, plus Lisa, were all standing around DSA's bus stop, waiting for the bus that ran in to Pallis every half-hour on weekends. They were planning to stop at the Viking Mall, which was five stories high and had been named to honor the dying breed of True Pallis Vikings. Jasper had begged them to go all week; he was still without a coffee maker or any personal belongings.
Lisa was clutching Jasper arm, and she looked very pale and shaky.
"She... uh... Well, we were at rehearsal and I kind of—accidentally—told her that we were, y'know, and now she's, and—it's not my fault!" Jasper shrugged.
"I've been invited to go shopping with you today," Lisa clarified. "Because unlike you three, Jasper actually cares that I almost died at rehearsal and he's going to protect me today!"
"What?" Eric asked, then shook his head. "Nevermind. I don't want to know. I don't care."
"Jerk," Lisa muttered, clutching Jasper even tighter. She did look shaken, although Jasper mainly looked confused. "Besides," she added, "I wanted to see the confrontation scene between you and LolRock."
"Confrontation already? We're just signing up for the contest today, I thought," Felix said, changing the subject and feeling vaguely guilty about having slept in instead of studying. Going to the mall was going to take up valuable study time, and after his dream, he was really nervous about his trig test on Monday.
"You didn't know? LolRock are going to be at the sign-up booth at the mall, and since Jasper is shopping I assumed that's where you were heading," Lisa explained.
There was a pause while they let the news sink in. "Why is the sign-up booth at the mall?" Cal asked no one in particular, after the silence. Then he answered himself with a sigh, "The author is lazy. Obviously..."
"Do you have to do that?" Felix asked him, looking vaguely annoyed. "It's not like it matters where the sign up booth is."
"But... The fact that the author thinks she can do anything just because it's more convenient to write..."
"But just because she's maybe making things more convenient for herself doesn't make them implausible; young people hang out in malls. The contest is aimed at young people. Ergo you had no reason to break the oh-so-fragile fourth wall!"
"But—"
"Felix, you said today I could break the fourth wall!" Jasper put in helpfully.
"No, you can't, sorry. Cal's here. Only he's allowed—" Felix started.
"But Lisa did it!"
"She's... uh... 'special,'" Felix explained, smoothing a wrinkle that was forming on his Funky Brown Shirt of the day. Eric nodded agreement, and Jasper pouted.
"But..." he started, then gave up as the bus arrived and they clamored aboard. It was a fifteen minute trip in to the mall, and Jasper was glad when it ended: he wasn't used to sitting still for so long. Especially not when Lisa was a lot further in to his Personal Space Bubble than he wanted her to be, but he was too polite to say so. He'd given the other lads pleading looks, but they found the situation too amusing to be helpful.
The five made their way inside, and were overcome by the assault on their senses. The mall reeked of fast food hummed with energy, and was extremely crowded—it was a Saturday afternoon, after all. Florescent lights beat down on them and shops full of shiny objects demanded their attention on either side of the hallway they stood in.
"Where first?" Jasper asked over the noise. "I need&151;My stuff all blew up, so—but you guys were going to—and I never had breakfast!"
"I think the sign-up booth is in the food court, so we can head there to sign up and get a snack," Eric decided. "Which way is the elevator?"
"This way—" Lisa declared and led the group. Out of the five, she was the only one who went to the mall with any frequency and thus was the one who knew her way around. The elevator was a several minute hike from the door, and somewhere along the way, they lost Cal.
"Where is he?" Eric muttered grumpily. "This place gives me the creeps. It's so government-regulated..."
"I see him," Felix declared, after standing on his tip-toes to look around through the mob of people. He was the tallest of the lads and thus had the best view. "He's got—nothing. Nevermind."
Lisa started to step in to the waiting elevator, but stepped back out to wait for everyone else. "What's he got?" Jasper asked.
"Uh..." Felix shrugged, as Cal rejoined the group, with something conspicuously hidden behind his back.
"What's that?" Eric demanded.
"Nothing!" Cal answered too quickly, trying to keep it hidden. It didn't work very well, since the only cover he had was to keep it behind his back, and Lisa darted behind to see what it was.
"Flowers," she proclaimed. Cal shot her a look so dark that not even Eric could match it, and she shrugged. "For Greta? That's... Cute. Pathetic, but cute."
"Cal. She—"
"I don't want to hear it, Eric." The statement held none of Cal's usual coolness or cheer. It was kind of scary, actually.
The elevator took off before the lads and Lisa had a chance to step in to it, and Eric glared in annoyance. His glare turned to shock as the elevator stopped halfway between the second and third floors, and began to plummet downwards. It shot down past the first floor and there was a huge crash and the sound of breaking metal and glass as it slammed in to the basement floor. People began screaming and shrieking.
"Oh. My. God!" Lisa scream, immediately grabbing Jasper's shoulder. He didn't seem any less scared than she did, staring at the wreckage.
"Um. Maybe we should take the stairs?" Eric suggested, turning away from the carnage after a long moment. "I don't think we can do anything to help here..."
"Uh. Yeah..." Felix agreed, awed and scared. The lads and Lisa began to walk shakily for the staircase.
They walked in silence for several seconds, until Jasper couldn't stand it any more. "Who's—I mean, I figured out that—Okay, so if one of LolRock is Greta, who're the other two?"
"Exposition Boy strikes again," Cal remarked, still in a sour voice.
"The other two girls are Genevieve and-" Eric spat the name- "Jolene. They're both..." He shuddered. "I can't even describe them."
"I can," Felix said, overly-perky. "Jolene is a complete witch and Genevieve is a slut."
"Oooo, someone's bitter," Lisa snarked, as they walked up the stairs.
"Bitter? How—0what?" Jasper asked.
"Long story. Later."
"Not that long, actually," Lisa corrected. "Two years ago, around—what, November?—LolRock decided they wanted a bassist, since none of them have any actual talent, and Felix was already known as Cool Bass Playing Guy, and Genevieve asked him out, and—"
"We went on two dates. I found out what they wanted. Haven't spoken since," Felix interrupted, then gave Cal a meaningful look. "Not all of us like being used."
Cal didn't answer, but Lisa giggled, "Harsh! ... She was cheating on him, anyway."
"So what is—are—Is LolRock, like, a band of all of your ex-girlfriends?" Jasper asked.
"I did not date Jolene!" Eric snapped. "And I should... uh... Blow up your room for even suggesting it."
"You already did that," Jasper pointed out, as they looked around for the sign-up booth. It wasn't too hard to find; it was situated in the middle of the food-court they'd arrived in. The three girls sitting at the table were unmistakable.
"You may just want to watch this," Lisa warned Jasper. "'Cause it could get violent."
The Lads approached the table as if they were marching to battle. One of the girls—either Genevieve or Jolene—saw them coming and pointed it out to the other two, who stopped gossiping and watched their approaching rivals.
"Lookit that," one of the girls half-purred. The girl with black hair was wearing a shirt that seemed to be held up more by willpower than by the flimsy spaghetti-straps, and stuck to it was a nametag reading, 'Hi My Name is Jolene.' "It seems we've got some... competition."
"If you can call a few no-talent losers competition," the third girl, the one with pink in her hair, said. By process of elimination, Jasper realized she was Genevieve.
"So little talent you tried to recruit me, Gen?" Felix suggested.
Eric ignored the exchange and pulled a pen from his pocket, leaned forward and saw scribbled the three lads' names on to the sign-up sheet. "It seems to me," he mused to Felix, "that those three throw around the words 'no talent' awfully easily for people who only play cover songs."
Jolene's eyes narrowed. "We've got enough talent to win, which will make what, three years we've beaten you?"
Eric looked up from the form to fix an icy glare on her. "Ooo, careful, Jo!" Genevieve giggled. "He might blow up your room or hack in to your bank account or something."
"Yeah, 'cause Eric really needs your money," Felix muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Well, I'd assumed he was so sure of your no-talent band because he was planning to bribe the judges," Genevieve answered.
"That would be nothing compared to some of the things you've been paid to do," Eric shot back nastily. Felix let himself smirk at his ex-girlfriend, which Jasper—horrified and confused—thought went completely against his nature. He could picture Eric being mean, but Felix...? It was very surreal.
"This from Eric, who I think is going to get the title "Least Likely Human Being to Ever Score," in the senior year book," Jolene proclaimed.
"Woah," Jasper said, finally unable to stay silent. "This is—I mean, I know you didn't—but my God, you people are—you're—"
"Who's he?" Greta spoke up for the first time.
"He's that guy in the musical," Genevieve answered. "The one Rock is going to kill. He's in our history class, too."
"Oh. I bet I'd know that if I ever went to class," Greta answered.
"He's a good singer," Jolene commented, ignoring the lads almost entirely. She turned to Eric. "If you think that a good singer is going to win the contest for you, you're delusional."
"And so're you, if you think you can win it without one," Eric shot back.
Jolene narrowed her eyes. "We have one—three. It's not our fault Madame Blanche cast a no-talent brat in the female lead instead of Genevieve." Jolene smirked at Lisa, who clenched her fists and tried to ignore the comment. Genevieve was her understudy, and the LolRock girls had already made it clear what they thought of Lisa and Madame Blanche's casting job.
Eric glanced back at Lisa and Jasper, then considered the number of times he'd heard Jasper sing in practice. He was good, and... Eric scribbled Jasper's name after Felix's. Felix nodded approvingly. Jasper hadn't noticed; he was too busy being shocked at everyone, and Lisa hadn't noticed because she was too busy watching Jasper. As for Cal...
Cal was off in his own world, staring dreamily at Greta. She was very pointedly ignoring him, hoping he'd just go away. But she was out of luck. Eric pocketed his pen and turned to leave, but Cal just stood.
"I... Greta, I... What I mean is..."
"Drop dead." Her voice held no humor or sarcasm, and Cal winced at the sound of it but continued bravely.
He sighed. "Well, I wrote this whole speech thing about how much I love you, but if that's the way you're going to be..." He trailed off and set the bouquet—red and white roses—on the table and looked at her hopefully. She rolled her eyes and picked them up; he grinned. She dropped them and crushed the blossoms with one sandal-clad foot and kicked the remains away from her.
Cal winced but didn't seem terribly surprised. "I'll get you back, Greta," he promised—or maybe it was a threat. "Somehow, someday..."
"C'mon, Cal," Eric sighed, pulling Cal away. The Lads headed farther into the food court to get a late lunch, and Cal forced himself not to look back. There was no point... Greta wouldn't be watching.
Eric did look back, though, and narrowed his eyes. "LolRock dies," he said to himself.
"Wow!" Jasper said, after inhaling a cup of coffee and a slice of pizza. "That last—the whole confrontation—you guys must totally hate them!"
"Yup." Felix agreed, polishing off his third slice of pizza.
"Like, I mean, you said you were rivals, and like—but I didn't expect, and... That scene, like, totally ruined the story's G rating." He paused, then announced triumphantly, "I did it! I broke the fourth wall! HaHA!"
"Awww!" Lisa exclaimed, throwing her arms around Jasper. "Good job!"
Eric rolled his eyes. "So. Jasper... You got signed up with us."
"I did? Wow, that's—I mean, I thought—cool!" He grinned and Lisa swooned, trying to hug him again. He dodged sideways in his seat to avoid it, and she crossed her arms and scowled a little.
"But, like, what—I mean, you guys all play, and you can sing, and—what I mean is... Look, my point is—OW!"
"Eric!" Lisa snapped accusingly on Jasper's behalf. "That was uncalled for!"
"No, it's a running gag. Did you tune the first episode out entirely?" Cal asked, returning to himself after the depressing run-in with his former girlfriend. Lisa rolled her eyes, and Felix opened his mouth to tell Cal to stop it, then shrugged and started his fourth piece of pizza instead. This one seemed to have butterscotch and peppermint candies sprinkled liberally over the top, with chocolate sauce dripped on for good measure.
"Ugh.... How can you eat that?" Lisa asked with a shudder.
"Like this—" Felix replied, and in an amazing display managed to eat the whole thing in less than thirty seconds.
"My point is, like, which one of you plays drums?" Jasper asked.
"Oh. We all do." Cal took a gulp of his herbal tea and continued, "Since none of us are drummers, I mean. We take turns."
"Oh," Jasper said. "Because, like, I can drum. I mean, I do drum, like that was—when I auditioned—I can drum if you want me too, and... I thought I told you guys I drum a while ago." "Uh... You might of," Felix said, thinking back.
"He did," Cal acknowledged. "It's that whole 'first episode' thing again. There was a throwaway line."
"Cal..." Felix started, then was distracted by a gently wafting aroma from the pizza shop. "Be right back!"
"Like, how many slices of pizza is he going to eat?" Jasper asked.
"I dunno... He usually gets about seven, I think," Cal replied. "Closer to nine," Eric said. "I've got a spread sheet on it here..." He tapped a few buttons on his laptop, and a chart of some sort appeared.
"Nerd," Lisa said, rolling her eyes.
"Tagalong."
"Loser!"
"Stalker."
Lisa made a noise of disgust, crossed her arms and sulked. Felix returned triumphantly, with a huge slice of pizza.
"There can not be anchovies and peppermint ice-cream on that, can there?" Jasper asked in horror.
"There can," Felix replied evenly. "And there are." He took a bite and grinned.
"Ugh—that's, like, that's—is there something you reject—like something you won't eat?"
"Well..." Felix thought about it as he continued eating. Several seconds later, he nodded and declared, "Food that isn't pizza."
"That is not pizza! It's... It's... It's a crime against nature!" Jasper answered over-dramatically.
"No, it's just cheese and sauce on toasted bread. With pickles and anchovies."
"I can't watch this, I'm going to be ill." Jasper shuddered. "I've gotta—like—I need to get some clothes and stuff, so—"
"I'll go with you!" Lisa offered bouncily. Jasper sweatdropped.
*
Seventy minutes and forty-five stores later, the lads and Lisa were heading back to the bus to go home. All four lads were carrying mountains of boxes, bags and packages, most of which were done in pink ribbon. Jasper couldn't even see over the top of his, and kept almost falling on his face but catching himself and his purchases at the last second. Lisa was package free and bounced ahead of the lads by a few feet.
Tucked among the various purchases were a few pairs of flared jeans and one of army-green cargo pants (which Lisa had dubbed the "pants of cuteness!"). There were also several baby T's that Jasper had bought from a few of Lisa's favorite stores, and, of course, his crowning achievement of the dayӣa brand new Mister Coffee, which was balanced carefully on top of his mountain of boxes.
Each time he stumbled into something, he's scream frantically as he caught himself, afraid the new center of his life would be damaged. He also kept yelling things like, "Watch it, I've got important stuff here!" and "Hey careful, I can't see where I'm going," and "IF MISTER COFFEE DIES YOU DIE!!!" at each person who bumped in to him.
"Shopping with you was so much fun, Jasper! We should go again next weekend!" Lisa gushed. The lads sweatdropped collectively.
"That's her idea of fun?" Cal asked.
"Well, I enjoyed the look on J's face when she tackled him and demanded he try on the boxer shorts for her," Felix said with a grin.
"Yeah, well I enjoyed the look on your face when Genevieve and the others walked in to 2 Sizes 2 Small 4 U and saw you inside!" Jasper snarked back.
"I was only inside that... That flashingly lit store of girly monstrosities because you dragged me in," Felix reminded him in annoyance. He shuddered at the memory of the stores Jasper and Lisa had gone shopping in—and even worse was the memory of the LolRock girls walking in and seeing all of the lads inside, discussing the effect a pair of flares had on Jasper's butt. "And they did have a point. Those shirts you bought are for girls, technically speaking."
"But Jasper is so cute in them!" Lisa declared. "A whole lot cuter than Jolene was."
Eric muttered something under his breath, and it sounded to Lisa like it was a swearword of some sort. Aloud, he commented, "I'd be cuter than Jolene would in those shirts."
There was a long silence, and then Cal spoke up, "Only Jasper gets to reference wearing girl's clothes from now on. And let us never speak of this again."
"Are you trying to say Jasper has a cuter figure than I do for a shirt like that?" Eric demanded.
"Well—yes," Cal admitted, as Jasper tripped over a bench and almost fell, squawking loudly. At the last second, he caught his balance and his precious coffee maker was saved.
Felix shuddered, remembering his nightmare. "I've got to get studying... If I fail then LolRock will win and Eric will start dressing like Jasper," he said, largely to himself.
"What?" Jasper and Eric asked together.
"Uh... Nothing," Felix said, blushing. "Nevermind."
Lisa opened the glass door that led outside and held it for the lads. Jasper nearly walked in to her, unable to see either her or the door. "CAREFUL—COFEE MAKER—DELICATE!" he yelled.
"Sorry!" she snapped back, as Cal and Eric went right back to arguing.
"The bus is here," Felix interrupted. "We made it just on time. Lucky thing, that." He walked on to the bus.
Cal, Eric, and Lisa climbed aboard the bus, followed Jasper, who could barely see the stairs up. He got as far as the second step before his lack of sight got the better of him and he misjudged where the next step should be.
"Nooooo—Mister Coffee!" he cried, as he slammed in to the bus floor and skinned a knee. Packages escaped his grip and were strewn all over, and the bus driver glared at him. "My coffee—where—pleasebeokaypleasebeokaypleasebeokay!" He scrambled to his feet and began to pick up boxes and bags, tossing them in the direction of the other Lads.
At last he came to the beloved coffee maker and picked it up gingerly, cradling the box as if it was a child or a small animal. "The box got dented..." he whispered before bursting in to tears.
Eric, Cal and Felix sweatdropped.