(this must be) Pop!

5.15.2004

Female Urges You Should Give In To

Once again, I have read Cosmo so you don't have to. Hold your applause, please. Here is the heavily expurgated Wisdom of Cosmo, for June:

"Unless he's game, most guys consider this a 'no entry, exit only' zone. Stay away unless you have a backstage pass from him. If he's amenable, you can test the waters by lightly, almost 'accidentally,' grazing a lubed finger over and around the outside when you're giving him a a hand job."

"It's clear Lance Bass and JC Chasez have spent long, sleepless nights attempting to get *NSync back together."

"Instead, ask about his plan of action. And if he doesn't want to workshop his career crisis? Give him an hour to chill, then tell him he needs to let it go and stop being such a grumpster or he'll bring you down as well."

"...I got under the blanket and began giving my guy oral action. But we hit turbulence, and the plane shook violently. I must have bit him, because he yelped."

"42% of women have accidentally showed their ass in public."


Comments-[ comments.]
# Posted by Rachel on 12:25 PM

stripes

5.9.2004

dance with me

Oh my god.

Oh my GOD.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

Children, if you did not watch this season of Survivor, you are missing the GREATEST CHEESE EVAH!!

First, adorably evil Boston Rob dominates the season, lying, scheming, being generally kick-ass at challenges, and causing me to never miss a damn episode. Like, and I am not exaggerating, when he made it to the Final Three tonight I jumped up and did some kind of impromptu dance across the room, complete with shimmies and ass-shaking. And just now?

He just PROPOSED to Amber. Before either one of them got the million. Dudes, he asked for her PARENT'S PERMISSION first. It was... It was... My god, there has never been such undiluted and hilarious cheese in all the world. Way more fun (for me) than the Apprentice finale, because while that show was more engaging this season, I wasn't rooting for anyone after Troy got voted out, and in Survivor I was absolutely head-over-heels for Boston Rob.

I mean, even if he wasn't engaged to Amber as of 5 minutes ago, I still wouldn't date him. He'd grin and be charming while he stole your wallet and make you enjoy it. That's not my type. But that's exactly the kind of asshole who should be on reality tv. It is, for the record, a travesty that he didn't win the million, because no one has ever dominated this game like he did. No flying under the radar, no anyone-but-me strategy; he was totally up front and flat-out about wanting to win and running people over to get there. There's no damn justice in this game.

But, there is cheese. Glorious, glorious cheese. Wheeeeeee!
Comments-[ comments.]
# Posted by Rachel on 10:05 PM

stripes

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