(This Must Be) Pop!

9.2.2004

Note

Hey, Kevin Smith? It's cool with us if you want to call your new flick "The Passion Of The Clerks," no matter how "Spaceballs" a rip-off title it is. We understand that you have your reasons, and basically at this point we trust you. (Although... Clerks 2? C'mon.) But we're going to have to object to all these websites referring to it as "PotC". There's already a flick we refer to as PotC, and if we have to start differentiating between, say, PotC-as-in-Johnny-Depp and PotC-as-in-Jason-Mewes we're going to get very grumpy. So come up with a better name, a better acronym, or prepare for an angry!fangirl!beatdown.

love,
the pop!blog
Comments-[ comments.]
# Posted by Rachel on 11:49 PM

8.31.2004

Do we still call the monkey "Jack"?

Apparently Disney is releasing a new, special edition, Pirates of the Caribbean DVD set. It's going to be three discs, instead of two. The first two will be the same as the already-released DVDs, but the third disc will feature the X-Rated version, where Johnny Depp gets naked! And the outtakes where Orlando was dressed like Legolas! And the alternative ending we've all been praying for, where Elizabeth gets killed so she can't be in the sequel!

Okay. Maybe not. Who knows? Disney has cleverly declined to tell anyone what's going to be on the third disc. Damn you, House of Mouse! It had better be Johnny Depp's naked ass, that's all I can say.

Comments-[ comments.]
# Posted by Rachel on 11:55 PM

This is what I do in my spare time.

And now the pop!blog proudly presents: Battle Of The Summer Movies

Featuring
Jason Bourne (of the Bourne Supremacy)
Peter Parker, Mary-Jane Watson and Doc Ock (of Spider-Man 2)
Harold and Kumar (of Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle)
Catwoman (of Catwoman)
M. Night Shyamalan as himself

Kumar: Dude, where are we? Why are we all in one segment?
Peter Parker: Where are we all, really? [ponders soulfully] What does this all mean?
Kumar: It means your movie was fucking lame.
Peter Parker: [stares soulfully]
Mary-Jane: Oh, Peter, why can't we be together? [stares soulfully]
Doc Ock: Oh, fuck this, I was too cool for that movie. [kills both Peter and Mary-Jane violently, then stalks off to star as Tevye in Fiddler]
Kumar: Roldy, do you think maybe we've been smoking too much?
Harold: ...
Kumar: Nevermind, stupid question. [pause] So where—
Catwoman: Meow, baby. Aren't my boobs hot?
Kumar: Yes.
Harold: Yes.
Jason Bourne: ... [breaks out super assassin rifle and shoots her.]
Catwoman: But I'm supposed to have a franchize!
Jason Bourne: Sorry! I'm sorry!
Catwoman: [dies]
Every Critic In The Country: I guess he had to put that kitty down.
Harold: Oh, shut up.
Kumar: So what's going on?
M. Night Shyamalan: Well, we appear to be in some sort of bizarre meta-sketch wherein awful movies are slaughtered one by one... Luckily, of course, in a twist ending, The Village will escape!
[pause]
Jason Bourne: [shoots M. Night Shyamalan] Sorry!
Kumar: I’m not. I paid eight bucks to go see that shit.
Harold: So... I guess it's just us now, huh? Uh... [eyes Bourne warily]
Kumar: How about we go smoke somewhere with Neil Patrick Harris and let him win?
Harold: Good call.
[they exit]
Jason Bourne: [shrug] I'm sorry?
Comments-[ comments.]
# Posted by Becky on 6:42 PM

Pop culture, taken seriously.

VH1 E! MTV Nysncline.com Sloan Pop Culture Junk Mail Yankees.com Wil Wheaton dot net X-Entertainment This Lousy T-Shirt Tiny Portraits Adventures in Lame Blogger Comment This! A Latenight Caffiene Production.

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